just-plain-life – Page 26 – Cubicgarden.com…

In memory of Paula Vettori

Paula Vettori memory — Paula was always full of love, joy and energy, guess which one she might be?

Today Moss Side Volleyball was informed that the heart of Moss Side Paula Vettori had died of a brain tumour.

I’ve know Paula for a long while and shes always been such a delight to play volleyball alongside and spend time with. Its been a shock but can’t even imagine the shock to her kids and husband.

She was always smiling and laughing. Especially when I accidentally thought she was Portuguese not realising she was actually Brazilian. To be honest, there was a lot we could all learn from her…

Rest in peace Paula x

If you know Paula or just want to help out the family and kids, please do add funds to the gofundme which was setup by the team.

I always said Facebook was used for dating, why so surprised?

Facebook announces dating and some are surprised?

At F8, Facebook’s annual developer conference, Mark Zuckerberg announced a new dating service, simply called “Dating,” that will exist right within the social network’s own app. It will allow Facebook users to create separate profiles from their main Facebook accounts to pursue romantic connections. The two profiles won’t interact, meaning your Facebook friends won’t be able to see what your Dating profile says. And it should make dating app incumbents like Tinder and Bumble anxious.

Hummmm, really… from previous posts I wrote

When will social networking dethrone online dating?

Facebook is being used for dating… full stop!

Of course I certainly wasn’t the only one writing about this, you only had to look at the way people were using Facebook. I guess you have to give Facebook credit for understanding what its users were doing. That or the amount of data the likes of Tinder & Bumble were using; convinced Facebook that screw Cambridge Analytica, this is a way to get in on the action before its too late? Just as they started to rethink things?

Is Matchgroup worried? They should be, because there attitude for their customers sucks big time and Facebook may scoop in and convince those customers easily. On top of that Bumble is suing them for 400 million. Not a trivial amount…

10 Years in Manchester this week

What on earth am I still doing here?

10 years ago I made my way up to Manchester. I hadn’t really spent much time there. First time was staying in the Copthorne hotel in Salford Quays for a BBC Innovation lab and i wasn’t impressed. But I gave the city another chance deciding its going to be a new challenge, new place to discover and a better lifestyle than staying in London and moved. I was more or less right…

Why I moved to Manchester…

Time has gone by quickly and if I didn’t have blogs and calendar events going back that far I might have forgotten. To be fair a lot has happened in the 10 years, here’s just a few picked randomly.

I have visited both Manchester City & Manchester United stadiums, although not a football fan. Seen the Manchester riots and the same city come together to clean up. Likewise for the Manchester Arena attack and how the city rallied together.

The weather I have to admit is sometimes pretty dire sometimes. I tend to bring my windproof umbrella everywhere with sunglasses if there is a hint of sun. From what I can tell most Mancunians, refuse to take an umbrella which seems insane to me. Manchester sits in a bit of a bowl and so although the mountains are clearly viable but the rain does gather over the high land.

The people have been generally good, I was worried about diversity but weighted up everything and decided it wasn’t any worst than a lot of places in the UK. Ultimately I didn’t feel like I would be in danger due to my race, especially in the city centre. I was right.

When I was first introduced to Manchester and looking for somewhere to live Hayley from the BBC showed me around a place called Cholton and I remember asking her about the city centre, to which she laughed and said no one lives there. She was likely right at the time but I made the right decision at the right time. The city centre is so walkable, skateboard-able and crammed with so many bars and cafes. Weirdly I hardly drunk booze in London or Bristol but in Manchester I started to indulge my cocktail tastes. You could say Manchester drove me to drink, but in a comfortable relaxed way.

Public transport in Manchester still baffles me. The tram is great and living near Piccadilly station is a great location. But the lack of a viable Oyster card type system is frustrating to say the least. I still remember taking a bus down Oxford road for 80p then being charged £3.20 on the way back. Something about a magic bus although operated by the same company and the exact same route. The city centre free buses are good too but generally you can walk from one end to the other in 30mins. The scooter had been great for longer distances not easily covered by the tram or train. I also find it crazy you can get back from Leeds at 2am but the last train from Liverpool is 11pm!

Equally baffling is the amount of gravy put on anything from meat to chips and the Mancunians & Liverpudlian accents which even now still has me scratching my head, even now!

Like a friend, who told me to go back down south, soon after I moved up; I should stop moaning frankly life is good. There are always frustrations, but the city and people of Manchester have been good to me.

It was a good idea to move up really early instead of later; I know many who didn’t come and for many reasons but I was just at that moment in my life when it wasn’t difficult to up and leave London. Life has massively improved and I generally think some of that is down to new friends, the costs of living and being able to make choices which fit. I also seem to have a knack for picking places which get gentrified.

Will I be here another 10 years? Its hard to tell. Considering Cardiff, as the BBC is moving its base to the centre of the city. Its also closer to my parents which is a plus. But I certainly feel the effect of Brexit and unsure how long I can put up with the change of attitude. If an opportunity came up I’d certainly give it some consideration but it would have to be in another city for sure.

Less blogging recently…

You might have noticed less blogging from me recently. Theres a number of reasons mainly to do with being on holiday in Portugal & Spain. But also I’m working on the living room of the future project. Something I highly recommend you should sign up to experience.

So over a year ago I had a chat with @cubicgarden and that chat grew to include more ppl and now this! Beyond excited abt stories & tech and brilliance from @flatness & @mladenrakonjac – free tickets here if you can get to @FACT_Liverpool next month! https://t.co/PfKgk2GJyZ

— Caroline Meaby (@carolinemeaby) April 7, 2018

I did about 6 pacemaker mixes while away on holiday but I would say only 3 maybe 4 are worth publishing. So look out for them on Mixcloud.com.

Leaving Madrid, recorded on the plane back to Manchester

First attempt – Tomcraft
Energy Flash (Graffiti on mars remix) – Joey Beltram
Flight 643 (oliver klein remix) – Ferry Corsten
Fractal – Bednar
I feel wonderful (cosmic gate’s from AM to PM mix) – Cosmic gate feat Jan Johnston
She wants him (Blake Jarrells panty dropper mix) – Moussa Clark & Terrafunka
Opium – Jerome Isma-Ae & Alastor
Suru (martin roth electrance remix) – super8 & tab
Anomaly (Eeemus’s Higgs Boson remix) – Gordey Tsukanov

The heights of Lisbon, recorded during on the evening nights in Lisbon.

Open up – Leftfield
Loneliness (club mix) – Tomcraft
Whites of her eyes – Simon Patterson
Delores – Indecient noise
From Russia with love (matt darey mix) – Matt Darey pres DSP
Jump the next train (Vadim Zhukov dub) – Young Parisians feat Ben Lost
Labyrinth (Paul Keyan remix) – Lee Cassells
Strange world (M.I.K.E’s rework 2006) – Push
Souvenir De Chine – Fire & Ice
Take me away (into the night) (purple haze remix) – 4 Strings
Sweet little girl (Voolgarizm remix) – Mario Piu
Tenshi – Gouryella
Uncommon world – Bryan Kearney
We are one (instrumental mix) – Dave 202
Why does my heart feel so bad (Ferry Corsten remix) – Moby
Anahara (extended mix) – Ferry Corsten pres Gouryella

Raving in Albufeira, recorded on a long bus ride from Albuferia to Faro

Sunset (bird of prey) – Fatboy Slim
Rheinkraft (extended mix) – Oliver KleinDj Cul
ture (Joey Beltram mix) – Kevin SaundersR
evolving doors (club mix) – Ronski Speed
Wrist block (Joey Beltram remix) – Side Four
Running up the hill (Jerome isma-ae bootleg mix) – Placebo
Flat Beat – Mr Ozio
Shnorkel – Miki Litvak & Ido Ophir
Valhalla (tonerush remix) – OneBeat
Higher state of consciousness (dirty south remix) – Josh Wink
Aumento – Joey Beltram
EDM Death Machine – Knife Party
A9 – Ariel
Brainwashed (Club mix) – Tomcraft
Gouryella (extended mix) – Gouryella
Anahera (extended mix) – Ferry Corsten pres Gouryella

I finally took up the Gratitude habit and started publishing them here. Standardnotes has quite nice system to publish notes but also keep parts secret if you choose to. Its like I imagined for mydreamscape ages ago.

Living a conscious life?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cubicgarden/33582103273/

I hadn’t really considered that I might be living my life in a conscious way. But the more I look into it, the more I see the difference between my life previous to my brush with death.

So what is a conscious life? A life which is deliberate and thought-out, by listening to yourself and making conscious choices.

There’s no absolute, but rather a number of common elements which point in a certain direction. After some research and thought here’s a small incomplete list.

Do what makes you happy
Feel comfortable with saying no
Accept yourself and stop comparing yourself to others
Ignore the messages of the mainstream
Live in the moment
Be choosy
Focus on what you have
Practice a life with gratitude
Don’t let your ego lead
Spend your time and resources wisely
Let go of negativity and judgement

Its easy to see how all of these can seem either obvious, patronising or some hippy spiritual nonsense? I get it, maybe 10 years ago I would be thinking a similar thing. Maybe its just one of those things which you are ready for or not?

So how does this manifest in my life?

Do what makes you happy

I pretty much do what makes me happy and ignore much else. Its not out of ignorance but rather feelings of overload. I guess this is why I can sleep well at night? Don’t get me wrong, there are feelings/tensions about this being selfish but I tend to balance it out in my head by helping people when possible.

Help takes many forms but trying to encourage more people to be a little more conscious is something I quite like. Although I guess in retrospect, it can seem like I’m pushing my ideology on to others? Of course its about balance and also if the person is receptive to the advice.

Going back to doing what makes me happy. My trip to Japan was a great example. I got much advice about where I should go and visit from a great number of people & places. Although I took them on-board, I spent most of my time in Tokyo wondering the streets of different prefectures of the city. I visited every single roller coaster park except the Disney ones. I did what made me happy and still ended up trying new things. So this isn’t about the filter bubble. Its not uncommon for me to end up in the middle of a new city and just go exploring, alone or with others. Usually on a quest for the best cocktail establishment in that city.

This also applies to what I see and experience. This does unfortunately means making some tough decisions about places, things, friendships, etc… Doing what makes me happy also means I tend to go and do things which others wouldn’t do alone. Its not unknown for me to go to the cinema, city, dinner, holiday alone. I’m quite comfortable with my self and don’t need others to reaffirm my happiness.

Feel comfortable with saying no

Following on from the previous one, saying no and personal happiness are connected. Saying no means theres less guilt and less mental pain. Saying no does mean being honest and rejecting people, but in the long run, its a much better place to be. Its great being strong willed too, great for the character. This has also stopped me from ending up in places/doing things I honestly wasn’t happy about.

Accept yourself and stop comparing yourself to others

This is something I learned very early on, maybe back when I was in primary school to be honest. I was taken out of class to go up to a special room, where a teacher/specialist would give me tests for dyslexia. That combined with being one of about 3 black kids in the school, all this made me less focused on comparing myself. I also wasn’t the most photogenic person in school, but it didn’t matter so much to me. This followed through into later life and

I’d argue this also fits well with not letting your ego rule, because what others do with their lives doesn’t concern me much. Its only when it affects others or myself I start to wonder.

Every once in a while people near me, have said they are jealous of one thing or another. I always say,

“don’t be jealous, focus on how your going to get better”

I try and get people to rethink the situation by turning that early stage envy around. Be happy for the other person and use them as a pointer. This does require some re-framing but is important and directly fits with the notion of being conscious not just reactionary.

Live in the moment

I alluded to dyslexia and links to living in the moment, but honestly my personally has expanded quite a bit to seek out more opportunities, now I notice them more. Its one of the big noticeable differences after my brush with death. Lisa Upton talked about it too, so did Derren brown’s in the secret of luck and of course there was what happened at TedxManchester3 with Carrie Green.

Funny enough I recently found where the coffee conversation with Carrie went; into her book She Means Business: Turn Your Ideas into Reality and Become a Wildly Successful Entrepreneur.

From the chapter – The little voice in your head

A guy called Ian Forrester climbed up to the stage, I handed him £20, the audience applauded and he went and sat down. A few weeks later we met up over a cup of tea and he told me how a brush with death a few years earlier made him make the decision that he was never going to let anything stand in his way. He said, “People are paralyzed by their fear of what might happen, and so they won’t reach out and grab what’s in front them. And that’s pretty much what I did.”

I also remember a while ago hearing about smutslam and decided to give it a try. During the course of the evening, I decided to give it a shot. I ended up winning 2nd place. Totally living in the moment, just going with the flow.

Practice a life with gratitude

Been thinking about this one quite a bit, especially since I attended Sarah Raad’s workshop at Thinking Digital Newcastle. The benefits are huge for such a simple practice.

There are many gratitude apps and platforms, I’m just trying to pick one which contains all the things I respect like being opensource, decentralised, multiplatform, etc. Currently I’m drawn somewhere between using Mastodon and trying Micropub.

What ever I decide, I’ve started writing weekly in Standard Notes, which also has a nice little micro blogging system called listed.

Let go of negativity and judgement

This is a big one. It was a workshop talk from Bobby from the happiest which unfortunately closed not long afterwards. (still like to see a distributed take on happiest); which got me thinking about negativity and how much we hold on to it (or it holds on to us?). He said something like 65 million thoughts we have everyday, 85% are negative. Although maybe not right, it got me thinking quite a lot about the possibility of changing our thought process. Could we learn to accept and let go? Why do we hold on to negative feelings so tightly?

For me the totally irrational fear of injections was overcome by conscious thoughts of the same mind which was hosting that fear.

Although still fearful, I do feel much lighter because I was able to let go.

Tips and ideas for Madrid & Lisbon please?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/dmelchordiaz/37883184791/

Over the last year, although I was away a lot; it was for work. It meant I have a lot of holidays left over to use. So I’m making the most of the holidays and heading to Portugal again (twice in 2 years, Lagos and Madeira); this time Madrid and Lisbon. I want to soak up the freedom to wonder around Europe before Britain cuts ties with Europe. (I’m have plans for Scandinavia later in the year)

I’m pretty free and easy about everything but I’m planning to check out the amazing culture in both cities. There is one solid thing I must do and thats visit the amazing rollercoaster parks in Madrid.

Any tips, suggestions and places I should stay are very welcomed…

OKCupid starts screwing around with messages

I proposed a few times in the past that dating sites may not necessary showing your messages to certain people because of a number of reasons (maybe you are sending too many messages, maybe you are deemed no beautiful enough!)

Well OKcupid quietly announced this change over the holiday season.

Hi! We’ve made some exciting changes to how messaging on OkCupid works. You see, from member feedback we found that our messaging system needed some help: members were getting too many unwanted messages, which was distracting them from the messages they actually wanted to respond to. After all, the conversations that end up leading to something are between people who actually like each other, so we wanted to make it easy for you to focus on just those messages. So now, although you can still send a message to anyone, you’ll only see messages in your Conversations from people you’ve liked. People who have messaged you but whom you haven’t liked yet will be highlighted in DoubleTake (and everywhere else, too) — just visit their profile to see the message. And if you’ve already liked someone, their message will automatically show up in your Conversations. Easy! And now for the best part — after testing these changes for weeks, we’ve found that this new way of messaging increases matches by over 30%! So thanks to your feedback, we’ve been able to make some pretty exciting improvements in time for the new year.

It sounds like a reasonable change, but I do wonder how much further they will go with this? It wouldn’t be hard to not show messages because of x reasons.

If you think about it also, OKCupid is slowly pushing people towards the ways it prefers to connect with people. No longer can you browse, read peoples profiles and send a message hoping to connect that way. I understand why but once again where does it lead us?
Update

After a little discussion with the amazing Lydia about this. I do think it’s good that okcupid is listening to it’s audience, but we do agree they may only be doing this due to falling numbers to the likes of tinder (owned by the same company) and bumble (match group tried to buy recently).

The skeptical me (anything okcupid does right now I am very skeptical about) thinks there might be a better way to educate users about their poor inbox filling messages. But it’s clear from okcupids founders own book Dataclysm, the mass produced non-personal messages seem to get conversations started (much to my dismay of humanity when reading this). Its also clear men are the biggest culprit of sending these and although a 2nd inbox (similar to Facebook?) to sorted by liked unliked people is a good for women. Maybe okcupid could educate the men before the message is even sent?

We seen (we see everything!) you copied and pasted this same message over and over again (5x times in 24hours), we are not going to send it till you think of something more original or read the profile!

Okcupid is a safe place for ALL its users…

Now that would be bold, helpful and move the emphasis from the victim to the culprits.

You could even quota the sent messages which resets when there is a reply and reduces further on blocks? But this all needs to be transparent and educational otherwise the user will just setup another account out of spite or frustration?

My new years resolutions for 2018

Ian at Sarajevo Unilimited — Talking Object Based Media from the Sarajevo Unlimited stage

Its been 10 years since I’ve blogging my new years resolutions and I’m still convinced its a good thing to do.

Following my review of last year… here’s my New Years Resolutions for 2018; which follows on from 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010.2009, 2008 ones.

Take Kate out of her comfort zone
Part 1 completed in Ireland in 2017, now its time for Japan or Hong Kong with a bunch of twists.
Head further a field with the new scooter
New Scooter, new waterproof wear, its time for a ride into Europe before the UK leaves Europe (said with a very heavy heart)
Ride a roller coaster in another country
Closely related to the previous one, its got to happen in 2018. I love them and its time to go further a field to see what others are doing.
Go to a new part of the world
Regular resolution and its a great one to have.
See more comedy
I can’t really believe I didn’t go to any comedy last year, got to make changes to include some comedy in 2018.
Explore more about the brain using neuroscience
Massively interested in the power, quirks and processing of the brain; from the dreams it creates to the way it processes memes. The recent talk reminded me how much I love this area. Certainly like to see more talks like that.
Only eat artisan chocolate unless its Kitkat, Twix or Maltesers
I like chocolate but I decided a while ago that I should only really eat a certain percentage or higher. My tolerance for lower cocoa is dropping and like my cocktail choices; its time to avoid the rubbish stuff. Chocolate tasting confirmed this and the cocoarunners subscription should offer enough to keep me away from the rubbish stuff. I decided I should give myself some outs.
Do more with my Estonian e-residency
I want to do more with my e-residency and its about time, I started using this state backed digital identity to do more. Even if its just signing documents as me.
Make better use of the online services I have paid or invested in
I have paid for quite a few services like Plex, Standard Notes, Trakt, etc. They have all passed the point of me thinking this is good and I should support it for what ever reasons. Certainly need to connect them up with local services like ttrss, etc using ifttt.
Be more daring in matters of the heart
Last year was a quiet year for me, mainly because I was away so much and frankly I’m quite disillusioned with the current online dating platforms. Its time to find something else. There has to be better and I need to find it.
Explore the future of online dating
Following on from the previous one… I have thought about this, written about this, talked about it and its time to try something.
Decentralise more and use POSSE more
Time to move away from these centralised services and look for open source alternatives which value a distributed, federated, loosely connected models. I take what I said about my role in Mozfest quite seriously. Started using Mastoden more and been using things like Standardnotes, Wallabag, etc… then syncing or publishing elsewhere under my own steam

A review of my 2017 resolutions

2017 what can I say? Its been quite a different year from what I was expecting.

Looking from the Quantified Self point of view

69 mins of sleep deficit over the whole year, which is massively down from the previous year. My average sleep this year has been 8 hours 22mins (massively up!). Average deep sleep has been 4.18hrs almost 51% of my sleep.
According to Gmail I have had 41,481 conversations, have 26,442 emails in my inbox and sent 6,741 emails this year
Have 48, 142 photos and 2,688 photos albums in Google photos.
Tasks wise I have 231 open tasks and completed 2435 over the year
Been on 44 trips including Tallinn, Sarajevo, Funchai, Edinburgh, Reykjavik, Dublin, Amsterdam, Berlin and Cologne this year
According to Trakt, my most played show was Real Time with Bill Maher and film was Trainspotting T2. Most listened to podcast is the Guilty feminist.
I spent 417 hours watching films (34.7 a month) and 411 hours watching TV series (34.3 a month)
Spent 989 hours working in Media City UK, 129 hours working in many coffee shops in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, 116 hours working on a train and 113 hours working at home. Theres a very long tail with lots more locations like hotels, Nottingham Uni, York Uni, Ravensbourne, etc.

Regardless of the data he’s the review of my new years resolutions from 2017.

Be taken out of my comfort zone by Kate and take her out of comfort zone

Well half of this happened, in March. Kate took me literally to the edge of comfort in a bright yellow camper van. Rough camping on a cliff face in Ireland was too close to my limit. There was a point early next day when I had to insist on a camp site because at least they had toilets and was far less exposed to the gale like winds (remember the first ferry was cancelled because of the winds).

I had planned to take Kate to Tokyo next year but this has been put on hold a little longer.

Head further a field with the scooter

No Northern Ireland trip but I did make it to Ireland via Kate. I did ride to Hull to see how the new scooter would handle the long ride and get a feel what it would be like if I went on the ferry to Netherlands or Belgium. Recently I have been riding with proper winter clothes, combine this with the better handling of the new scooter and I’m more likely to go for long rides in the rain.

Improve my circus skills

Jamming with a LED diabolo - Photo credit Ian Wilson

Still the Vertex is still not quite there, more practice is needed. But I’ve also been going to the Firejam’s in Castlefield Arena. I’m now reconsidering getting a fire diabolo again. I know its bloody dangerous but fire is just so cool compared to LEDs.

Visit a Japanese styled spa at least once every 4 months in the UK

I knew every 4 months was achievable so this is a tick. I went to Liquidrom in Berlin once, the Midland hotel twice and had the pool to myself at the Melia Madeira Mare. Still really need to find a better spa near Manchester but the Midland Hotel isn’t bad, especially when quiet.

Ride a roller coaster in another country

This will have to be a task for next year. However I noticed Alton Towers and Blackpool pleasure beach have new rides coming in 2018 now. My hope is to combine the trip on the scooter with going on a roller coaster park in Europe.

See the Aurora (Northern lights)

me taking a shot of the northern lights

This is a massive tick. Its always been on my list forever and thanks to brian suda who introduced me to the man/legend Snorri Por Tryggvason, who took me on a unbelievable journey which had us out and about near Reykjavik. Will never forget this.

This certainly happened thanks to Wallabag, Tiny Tiny RSS and Audiobook syncing using Plex. Was hoping to sync things to Goodreads but goodreads app is horrible on my ebook reader. According to Wallabag I’ve read 232 article over the year. Last of 2016 was Janet Street-Porter talking about routine not time.

Go to a new part of the world

Another few places not planned at all. Reykjavik Iceland, Tallinn Estonia and Sarajevo Bosnia & Herzegovina. According to Google maps I’ve taken 44 trips in the last year, but that includes trips to London, Newcastle, York, Cardiff, Bristol, etc.

Don’t shy away controversy and get more political

Absolutely and I’ve been digging at the deeper issues facing society with data ethics, private & public and machine learning.

Go to more comedy clubs and contemporary theatre plays

No comedy at all this year…

However the Manchester International Festival was great from a theatre point of view. Party skills for the end of the world, Fatherland and I guess Party skills for the end of the world counts as immersive theatre.

Take an improvisation class

No this didn’t happen at all, sadly…

Replace my scooter

This happened and I’m looking forward to going places in 2018.

Happy Holidays to family, friends and followers

Happy Holidays 2017 — Taken while on the hunt for the Northern Lights in Iceland in March 2017

Unknown to me, Facebook threw up a old post I created in 2014.

Why?

I have absolutely no idea, but honestly makes me trust Facebook even less. Usually Facebook and Google will surface stuff from the past and ask if you want to share/make it public. This isn’t one of those, it just appeared and friends started commenting and liking again.

Regardless, I was planning to do something similar again so here’s my holiday card for the holiday period; for family, friends and followers. Happy Holidays and look forward to 2018, as 2017 has been pretty poor (but not as bad as 2016)

Category: just-plain-life