Recently I met someone quite special. How did we meet? It wasn’t online or via a dating app.
I say this because although I’m very critical of dating apps, I keep finding personal experiences suggesting that they frankly suck.
We recently decided to look at our dating profiles to see what filters we applied.
One of the biggest differences was our accepted age ranges. I tended to go for women slightly older, and had my range from 38-46 but my partner is outside that age range. My partner who is much younger had a higher age range but not reaching 40+.
Meaning we would never have matched.
As I was experimenting with different filters before I met my partner, I had set my height filter between 5ft 7inches and 6ft 4inches (yes I know the average height of women in the UK is closer to 5ft 5inches and women in London are 5ft 7inches) but I thought I’d give it try. My partner is below the 5ft 7inches so would never have shown up too.
So, I hear you say… How did you meet?
Speed dating, yes old skool! But its worked out really well. Although I guess you could say the as speed dating has different age categories, that is a kind of a filter?
Getting deeper into some of the questions, things got more tricky. For example, I don’t want a kid but its not clear how to indicate, I would be open if the potential partner already has a older child and considering adoption in the future. Nope its flatten down to do you want children or not.
Same for politics and so much more. Its all boiled down to a binary or selection choice. Picking one will hide you from a whole ton of people who maybe ideal.
I asked her why she gave money away to strangers and she said that giving made her happy, and that the secret to a good life was not to want more than you have. “If you are satisfied with what you’ve got, you’ll have a good life,” she said. “Too many people want what they don’t have, so they spend their whole life working so they can get the next thing. But that doesn’t make them happy – so they never get satisfied and they are always after more money to get the next thing that might make them happy.”
“And it never stops,” I said, getting her drift. “The treadmill. The person is actually never satisfied. I guess that’s capitalism …”
Its something I think a lot about with my geek lifestyle… Of course this isn’t a lazy way of saying you should have less or compare yourself to others.
I wanted to pick out a few which I thought were worthy of mentioning/commenting.
8 Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
I like this one and will likely do this more often, as sometimes I find it a pain to outline what I’m thinking/saying in text and end up making a call. But this is nice middle ground. Although I have to say Google’s speech to text is so good now, I have been using that much more.
27 If possible, take the stairs.
I like this one as generally if I’m going to the 2nd or 3rd floor I’ll walk it but higher I take the lift. Modern buildings tend to have double or even triple high receptions, meaning the first floor is actually 2 or 3 floors up. So I make a judgement call rather than making a hard call.
28 Always be willing to miss the next train.
My dyslexia does generally make me late, knowing this about myself I always give myself an out. Usually not buying single tickets if I can absolutely afford it. This is similar with Trains and Trams. Of course with things like Airplanes this is much more tricky.
37 If you’re going less than a mile, walk or cycle. About half of car journeys are under two miles, yet these create more pollution than longer journeys as the engine isn’t warmed up yet.
My move to Manchester, was somewhat tied this. If I’m meeting someone in Manchester city centre I’m walking or sometimes skateboarding. I walk quickly always beating Google maps times.
41 Buy a plant. Think you’ll kill it? Buy a fake one.
I could rant about my plants over the pandemic, which ended up going outside because for some reason (I gather old soil might be part of the problem) it was the source of lots of flies (not fruit flies). So many I just had to get rid of them all. However I did buy fake ones and the flies are long gone. I’m happier now!
47 Take out your headphones when walking – listen to the world.
I use to do this but due to the amount of books and news I’m listening to, generally have my headphones on. Maybe this is part of the reason why its become harder to hear the mosquito sound now?
56 Call an old friend out of the blue.
This is something I’ve been doing during the pandemic and its been incredible. I can’t even tell you the amazing conversations I have with people I know but haven’t spoke to in a long time for varies reasons. Everything from life changing events like marriages, divorces, new births and of course near/deaths.
62 Go to bed earlier – but don’t take your phone with you.
This one bugs me and I’m drafting a post/rant about why to be healthy? Means getting up early and going to bed early. I think its nonsense and needs to be called out. Its clear some people are morning people, some are evening and some are night people. Equating this with health is just lazy nonsense and I’m fed up with it (expect much more soon).
Taking your phone to bed is also something I raise my eyes at. For example I use mine for sleep tracking and don’t doom-scroll or even look at socialmedia. Its what you do with it not necessarily the technology.
79 Ignore the algorithm – listen to music outside your usual taste.
Absolutely, I do find systems like Spotify really difficult to consider using. I know people say there is special playlists which introduce some discoverability. However everyone is listening to the same thing which makes me puzzle what makes it into the list, why and what is the effect of this?
86 Nap.
Most sleep research indicates napping isn’t good for you. Don’t get me wrong, if its needed then great but regular napping isn’t good for your general sleep. If it said nap if you really need to, that would be different but it doesn’t.
87 Learn how to breathe deeply: in through the nose, out through the mouth, making the exhale longer than the inhale.
Something I learned early in life while suffering with Asthma is how to breath better and deeply. I have found it very useful on the path to falling a sleep quickly at night.
While wearing a mask especially while sitting for a while I have found it calming.
97 Listen to the albums you loved as a teenager.
I won’t disagree but there is a balance to be struck. I have written a lot about the pull of nostalgia and a concern about it.
A during my blogging, I have said something along the lines of average advice for average lives? I don’t think the advice is bad but rather average. Maybe if reduced to 15 or 20, it might be of a high quality or with more clear direction?
Its worthy of some reading over brunch anyway (as I did today)…
The news has been full of discussion about this and being the Gates, its popped up in my news feed now and then. One thing I find annoying about the opinions I’m hearing, is how can they be splitting up after 27 years?
The romantic notion is sickly and although its always sad to see a couple split up, I have seen people say after 27 years they should stay together. Really?!
There is so much to say about our Disney view on love and relationships, but Alain de Botton and the school of life says it in much better than I ever could.
Its great to see the Guardian covering the decision of people who want to go children free. Really interesting to see how society pressures people into having children, I mean why would you not its natural right?
…When you get married, when you settle down, when you have kids…
I’m personally not bothered about having children, society needs to get a lot more accepting of people who choose not to have kids. I’m lucky to be male and not have so much pressure on me but the stories of women is just awful to read.
John Carlos and Tommie Smith made headlines across the world when they raised the black power salute on the podium after winning in the 1968 Olympics. That protest brought them death threats, and they were expelled from the games.
Not sure what it is about Amazon’s Upload but it feels like the Good Place? (maybe the early days of the good place?)
Just like the good place, it full of comedy and silliness but there is something deeper underneath the jokes and smiles. Yes the subject matter is similar, the afterlife? But there is also something emotional interesting about the show and its good to hear there will be a another season.
I did think there is plenty which can be taken from Black mirror’s San junipero and it seems Amazon got right in there with this. Originally I thought it would be awful but I expect to run for another few seasons.
My partner asked me how I was doing on the phone. She remarked how I was managing with the changes well and I mentioned a quote I heard recently.
I won’t/can’t take credit but it speaks volume about right now… The quote came from the head of R&D which he was reminded of via the chief scientist.
“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
I have been working at home since last week Tuesday, a few days after most of my colleagues at BBC R&D. Like most of the country/world who could work from home, we work from home in the middle of Covid-19 pandemic.
For a lot of people working from home is very challenging, for a number of reasons including having kids, job which requires access to specialist equipment, trying to separate work and personal life for a long time. Theres also the mental, social and physical health sides of this all.
So I thought I’d share how I’m managing with staying at home most of the time. Of course take from it what you think is useful.
Work wise
I now switched to my natural working time of 1030-11am till 7pm. I do get up and do all the things I usually do when going to work including getting dressed, having breakfast, playing podcasts, etc. Where usually I am in a rush for the door, I now relax playing a few podcasts in a row and across my flat.
Physically working I switch between using my standing desk in my bedroom and the sofa in the living room. I also have my dinner table but haven’t used that yet.
I take breaks when ever I want rather than a lunch break as such. It makes sense to me but I’m sure others will disagree
I’m using my Dell XPS 13 to the maximum memory wise (if I could add another 16gig to it I would, but it tops out at 16gig). Because of that I have to keep opening and closing the virtual windows 10 machine to check email. This is actually quite good because I’m answering emails then closing it while I do other things like writing gdocs, a lot of zoom calls.
Media beyond the news
Talking about media, I am currently playing podcasts as theres lots of podcasters recording from their homes, just like the mainstream media. At some point I will start listening to some of the audiobooks I have saved.
Been watching a lot of films and may start watching more TV shows but generally its audio in the morning and videos in the evening.
I had also planned to do some training by watching and listening from Linkedin learning and other sources.
I’m very happy I opted for the 1gig bit hyperoptic fibre link, its paid for its self massively over the years and being able to share my media with friends is fantastic. I’m also considering using my icecast server to maybe put up a live web broadcast every weekend as its been a while since I did a mix.
The Manchester futurists which I’m a part of are considering podcasting while events are not allowed. So look out for those. I did float the idea of techgrumps again but no dice yet.
I’m also considering getting more into gaming as I’m not much of a gamer, but do have a Xbox 360 and Playstation one classic. I actually do have a steam account but never used it so theres something I might explore. I’m also looking for a good gaming site for casual gaming which can be played together with my partner or friends, but is respectful of my data? Any ideas do drop a comment…
Staying in shape
I’m lucky to have a communal garden so can sit outside with minimal risk to myself and others. Its also where I’m going to start doing the diabolo now its getting warmer (thankfully). I have been outside a few times, mainly to get food, post letters and go riding in the pennies on the scooter. I am planning to do some more serious walking for shopping and exercise.
Been wondering if now is a good time to order those Rollerblades to go with my skateboard?
Staying connected
I don’t live with my partner but we are talking everyday. Its good and we find new and good ways to do things together over the phone and videochat.
I have always been in regular contact with my parents but also connecting with my sister more. Been thinking about the massive family I have and I should reach out to them more too.
I’m also making a very conscious decision to everyday get in touch with people I haven’t spoken to in a long time. Think about it, everybody is at home and likely will be very happy to hear from an old friend. Its not like they are out or on holiday. So far its been great and I expect it brings delight to others too.
Keeping my mind in gear
I have a large task list of things to do, not only because of covid-19 but generally. So I can slowly work my way through that while at home. Some of it is computer based, some internet based, some hardware and some physical DIY type things. Been thinking I should physically take up the art of motorcycle maintenance with my scooter.
Taking a look at the list, there is always something I could be doing and I ordered that raspberry pi 4 before this became a pandemic.
I’m taking time out to practice self-care, relax and sleep longer than usual which is helping a lot with my mental health. I’m avoiding the news cycle as mentioned previously but also avoiding lots of the facebook nonsense as I don’t need to use it now volleyball is off for the foreseeable future.
I noticed Sarah, founder of the Girl Geekdinners added a post on her facebook. She asked for others to do it because it was an interesting to understand our friends.
So I did a quick copy and filled it in on my facebook.
I decided to add it here and add some comments.
💍 Marriages: 1 💔 Divorces: 1 🍼Children: 0 (Thankfully) 👩🏼⚕️ Surgeries: 3 (Arm burn, Nose and Brain) ✒Tattoos: 0 (No chance I count my burn as one massive one) 👂🏼Piercings:0 (No bloody way!) ✋🏼Quit a job: Yes 🚘What car you drive : None (But I do have my lovely Silverwing 600cc Scooter) ✈️Flown in a plane: Yes (geez luckily dooplr doesn’t exist anymore because I must have been on about 15+ just this year) 🍹Favourite Drink: Espresso Martini or Cosmopolitan (I’m torn between the two, depending on mood) ❤Fallen in love: Yes 🚑Rode in ambulance: Yes (a few times with friends and myself) 🎤Sang karaoke: Yes (and hated it, each time) ❄Ice skating: Yes (still not great but can do it) 🏄Been surfing: No (tempted in the past) 🚢Been on a Cruise: No (plus I get seasick easily so it sounds like a nightmare to me) 🏍Rode on a motorcycle: Yes (everyday, not a big deal for me) 🏍Owned a motorcycle: Yes (about 5 in total) 🐴Rode on a horse: Yes (Believe it or not, and not ever again please) 😲Almost died: Yes (#mybrushwithdeath) 🏥Stayed in a hospital: Yes 🍑Favorite fruit: Granny smiths apples 📲Last phone call: Restaurant in Manchester (I was checking the availability of a table) 📱Last text: To my partner 🍵️Coffee or Tea: Tea (I love coffee but I can’t drink it like I use to, Tea on the other hand I can drink all day no problem) 🥧Favourite pie: None! (Hate them, I’m all about the Cornish Pasties) 🍕Pizza: Pizza Express’s Padana, which is Goats Cheese, Caremlised red onions, Spinach and Olive oil 🐈 Cat or Dogs: Cats (although I’m allergic to them, they don’t like to bite & chase me like dogs do) ☃️ Favorite Season: Summer (Sometimes its too hot but I prefer it to the cold and wet rain of Spring and Autumn. Also love walking around with just a short sleeve shirt) ♥️: Favorite holiday: Tokyo Japan (although crazy and always under threat of eating something which is going to kill me, I did enjoy it a lot) 🏊♂️: Skinny dipped: Yes
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