Openess when it matters most?

I’ve been thinking about the fact I’m now in a relationship with a lovely woman and no longer on the dating market but the weird thing is, we met via a friend of a friend not online dating or speed dating etc…

I know everyone says, “when your not looking it will happen” but frankly I can call balls on that theory (in my case at least). I may not have met Laura unless I was openly dating and discussing my experiences on twitter.

This openness has its advantages and disadvantages I’ve found… But for all the taking the piss out of myself (you know who you are), I feel like I’ve helped people to be more open with there inner thoughts.

So while reading along together again…it got me thinking…

I thought long and hard before submitting the above to Marco. Divorce is a subject that, despite its sad prevalence, remains taboo. Divorce is generally discussed behind closed doors, on long phone calls, or via whispers in crowded restaurants. I do not regret my decision to be public about my experience, though. I received many responses, often from people who are going or had gone through something similar. Those people found comfort in knowing that they were not alone, and that is justification enough.

Me and Laura are divorcées and I maintain the fact you will never know how bad things can get until a divorce. I do feel slightly sad I didn’t share more at the time but it was a shame thing. No one wants to talk openly about the end of a relationship but in actual fact thats when we probably need to talk and be open the most.

Anyway its a good read and raise a number of interesting thoughts… Of course I hope to never experience divorce again…

Gabriel and Dresden Featuring Molly Bancroft – Let Go

I've been listening to this tune a little too much I think. This is certainly the trance equivalent of a breaking up tune. Its very mellow and limited on vocals, but clear and effective at reminding me of current position.

 

I swear I don’t know, what time it is,
But I know this means, nothing much to me,
And I hear the voices, bring in my head,
And they keep telling, telling me to let go…
Let Go
Telling me to let go
Let go…
*It could be better that way*

Let it Go, Let it go,
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
*It’s just better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
It’s just better that way.

And I hear the voices, bring in my head,
And they keep telling,
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…

*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Sink me better that way.*

Let it go, Let it go
“It could be better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
“It’s just better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
“It could be better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
*Sink me better that way..*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It’s just better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It’s just better that way*

Scary how effective music can be sometimes…

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Breaking up is hard to do


Picture from our recent holiday in New York

Sarah and I are both announcing today on our blogs that we are going to get divorced after four and a half years of marriage.  This was a joint decision, and it wasn't made hastily.  We have tried many different things to make it work, but have come to the conclusion that staying married will cause a lot of unhappiness for both of us.  We would rather end it now while were still on good terms, and plan to stay friendly.

We know this is pretty public and quite shocking news for many people who know me. We hope that everyone will accept that we know what is best for us, and give us our privacy about the reasons.  We are both sad and under a lot of stress, but are also somewhat relieved to have made the right decision.
 
A lot of people were also surprised about the speed at which we got married in the first place.  We didn't take that step lightly, and neither of us regrets getting married.  We did believe at the time we would be married forever, and we do still love each other.  The problems we have do not have anything to do with the manner in which we met or the speed of our marriage.

We both admire and respect each other and hope that our mutual friends will never feel that they have to choose sides.  At some point, we may even continue the podcast, but it is undecided at this time.  We consider ourselves 'separated' now, but will continue to live in the same house until we can sell the property or make alternative arrangements.

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