Tag: divorce

Public Service Internet monthly newsletter (Dec 2025)

Traffic jam of cabs in New York shot from the back with red lights from the cabs
Cars everywhere: (cc-by-nd) https://www.flickr.com/photos/strolicfurlan/24747443097/

We live in incredible times with such possibilities that is clear. Although its easily dismissed seeing the questionable AI courtcase in the UK, Zuck running an illegal school and big tech refusing to talk about election influencing in the Netherlands.

To quote Buckminster Fuller “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

You are seeing aspects of this with Android supporting airdrop, The Eurosky sovereign bluesky project now has open code and Dr Ruha Benjamin’s unlearn speech from Mozfest 2025.

The future of addiction

Ian thinks: I found this conversation spot on, as it touches on many things I find really interesting right now and links them up. From the problems of mass social media to weaponized addiction being generated on mass. Addiction is always a contentious point but regardless, it all points to a future where our revealed preferences are indulged without friction for profit and control..

Why we need a war on cars

Ian thinks: I don’t drive a car, and this episode is full of interesting points including the one about superman, electric cars effect on space and the city and the social impact on loneliness.

The characteristics of a AI bubble

Ian thinks: If you are in the tech field or even looking in, its clear everybody is talking about the AI bubble but this podcast from Wired again, really breaks down the characteristic of a bubble.

Keep Android open

Ian thinks: Great site, seems Google might have listened to the pressure in recent days. What they mean by an alternative is a big question however.

Reasons for divorce: AI relationship

Ian thinks: We all new this was coming. You message first thing in the morning, last thing at night, you message on the toilet! That relationship seems so innocent but engaging. Now there is legal challenges a foot, which could make that relationship grounds for a divorce.

Digital legacy and death tech overview

Ian thinks: This video from Wired magazine, starts off with the usual cryogenic nonsense  but then grief bots and AI avatars suddenly become a lot more real. I especially like the shout out to get a will and manage your digital legacy. This is something I am working on with a project called Machine readable wishes.

NSA’s mobile phone guide

Ian thinks: The NSA’s mobile guide is interesting reading, there are nuggets of information such as restart your phone weekly and have a case which block room audio. Paranoid or just good advice?

Bots are the future of social media?

Ian thinks: I recently gave a talk about AI to a health insurances. I talked a lot about loneliness and bots. Although I didn’t include it, this detailed video forecasts the logical end of social being the dead internet theory but far far worst.

What does 47,000 conversations with ChatGPT tell us?

Ian thinks: Remember when OpenAPI was sharing chatGPT conversations? Well analysis of the conversations by the Gerrit De Vynck tells us exactly how puppy like and integrated it is with peoples lives. Counter to what the AI companies have been saying, this is worry-some to hear and read.

Like this newsletter? find the monthly archive here

Gates divorce after 27 years

Bill and Melinda Gates
This photo was taken by Kjetil Ree. © 2009 Kjetil Ree

The news has been full of discussion about this and being the Gates, its popped up in my news feed now and then. One thing I find annoying about the opinions I’m hearing, is how can they be splitting up after 27 years?

The romantic notion is sickly and although its always sad to see a couple split up, I have seen people say after 27 years they should stay together. Really?!

There is so much to say about our Disney view on love and relationships, but Alain de Botton and the school of life says it in much better than I ever could.

Time to get real people!

Openess when it matters most?

I’ve been thinking about the fact I’m now in a relationship with a lovely woman and no longer on the dating market but the weird thing is, we met via a friend of a friend not online dating or speed dating etc…

I know everyone says, “when your not looking it will happen” but frankly I can call balls on that theory (in my case at least). I may not have met Laura unless I was openly dating and discussing my experiences on twitter.

This openness has its advantages and disadvantages I’ve found… But for all the taking the piss out of myself (you know who you are), I feel like I’ve helped people to be more open with there inner thoughts.

So while reading along together again…it got me thinking…

I thought long and hard before submitting the above to Marco. Divorce is a subject that, despite its sad prevalence, remains taboo. Divorce is generally discussed behind closed doors, on long phone calls, or via whispers in crowded restaurants. I do not regret my decision to be public about my experience, though. I received many responses, often from people who are going or had gone through something similar. Those people found comfort in knowing that they were not alone, and that is justification enough.

Me and Laura are divorcées and I maintain the fact you will never know how bad things can get until a divorce. I do feel slightly sad I didn’t share more at the time but it was a shame thing. No one wants to talk openly about the end of a relationship but in actual fact thats when we probably need to talk and be open the most.

Anyway its a good read and raise a number of interesting thoughts… Of course I hope to never experience divorce again…

Gabriel and Dresden Featuring Molly Bancroft – Let Go

I've been listening to this tune a little too much I think. This is certainly the trance equivalent of a breaking up tune. Its very mellow and limited on vocals, but clear and effective at reminding me of current position.

 

I swear I don’t know, what time it is,
But I know this means, nothing much to me,
And I hear the voices, bring in my head,
And they keep telling, telling me to let go…
Let Go
Telling me to let go
Let go…
*It could be better that way*

Let it Go, Let it go,
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
*It’s just better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go,
It’s just better that way.

And I hear the voices, bring in my head,
And they keep telling,
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…
Telling me to Let Go…To let go…

*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Aah a ah..let it go..*
*Sink me better that way.*

Let it go, Let it go
“It could be better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
“It’s just better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
“It could be better that way”
Let it Go, Let it go
*Sink me better that way..*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It’s just better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It could be better that way*
Let it Go, Let it go
*It’s just better that way*

Scary how effective music can be sometimes…

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Breaking up is hard to do


Picture from our recent holiday in New York

Sarah and I are both announcing today on our blogs that we are going to get divorced after four and a half years of marriage.  This was a joint decision, and it wasn't made hastily.  We have tried many different things to make it work, but have come to the conclusion that staying married will cause a lot of unhappiness for both of us.  We would rather end it now while were still on good terms, and plan to stay friendly.

We know this is pretty public and quite shocking news for many people who know me. We hope that everyone will accept that we know what is best for us, and give us our privacy about the reasons.  We are both sad and under a lot of stress, but are also somewhat relieved to have made the right decision.
 
A lot of people were also surprised about the speed at which we got married in the first place.  We didn't take that step lightly, and neither of us regrets getting married.  We did believe at the time we would be married forever, and we do still love each other.  The problems we have do not have anything to do with the manner in which we met or the speed of our marriage.

We both admire and respect each other and hope that our mutual friends will never feel that they have to choose sides.  At some point, we may even continue the podcast, but it is undecided at this time.  We consider ourselves 'separated' now, but will continue to live in the same house until we can sell the property or make alternative arrangements.

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