Tag: friends

My new years resolutions for 2025

Lost Gravity at Wallibi

Following my review of last year… here’s my New Years Resolutions for 2025 which follows on from 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008 ones.

  1. Find a new position of employment
    The word is out, I’m leaving BBC R&D after almost 21 years. I’ll be taking a few holidays and breaks but ultimately will be looking at new positions of employment. I may do something else like consulting, academia or develop one of the many side projects further.
  2. Finish my dating book
    Another throw back to 2024, The dating book is so close, self publishing is the way forward, rechecked with Grammerly again (avoiding the AI stuff, which I tested and it turned the chapters into something very middle of the road and not my voice) and I’m aware the first edition will be bad. But I’m very close but struggling with a book name, subtitle, cover, etc. I also made a stake to publicly release before Hannah finishes her PhD. The race is on!
  3. Head even further a field with the scooter
    Now I will have lots of leave and holidays, I’m thinking this is a good time to finally get this one crossed off. I could easily drive over to Hull or even Newcastle and get the ferry to Rotterdam or even Ijmuiden (Amsterdam). Maybe a week would be perfect and I could finally use those side saddles I bought.
  4. Learn to drive a car
    So with more time, I could actually start booking driving lessons and book a test. I’ve been told in the past, I likely won’t need many lessons as my road sense is high driving a motorbike for 27 years. I did pass the car theory once before and was flawless in the hazard perception test. Plus I now know my full bike licence gives me a car provisional.
  5. Listen to 25 Audiobooks in the year
    As mentioned in the review from 2024, this was quite easy which surprised me. There were some great books and I do like how it expands my mind. I’m going to expand it to 25 as there were a few shorter books last year.
  6. Go to a new country
    This is always a good one and honestly there are some key countries which I have passed through many times in the airport but never left. I’m looking at you Switzerland, Czechia and Austria. Although I am also thinking South Korea after needing to cancel in the pandemic and part of me is still regretting not heading to Hong Kong and feels like Taiwan should be higher on my list before its too late?
  7. Go to a new Rollercoaster park
    A regular resolution but a good one and if I head to another country, its certainly high on the list that I will find a way to check out what options for a day of pure rollercoasters.
  8. See more of my friends further a field
    My friends are diverse, interesting and great to be around; especially right now. During the Covid pandemic, I would call them up on the off chance and have some incredible conversations. It was amazing and some went on for 4 hours. So in 2025, I’m going to catch up with more of my friends I haven’t seen in years. Be it on the phone, online, in person, what ever works.
  9. Personal knowledge management and task rethink
    I’m a little annoyed with the way I’m managing my notes, tasks and projects. I liked using Trello but don’t like the closed nature of it, I like Obsidian but it is closed source also puts me off. I’m also using  Todolist for tasks which is insane but I had to move from todo.txt which was just too basic for my uses.
    I like what I’m seeing with Anytype & Tagspaces but also seen some interesting uses of markdown with Logseq? This whole personal knowledge management or as I use to call it personal semantic stores.
    So now is a good time to relook at everything especially since I finally got Nextcloud working on my NAS (finally!).
  10. Be more active about my personal health
    Especially over the last few months, I have been pushing my health too much. On top of this, I am getting older and need to be better about things like sleep and exercise. More Volleyball, more consistency and more investigating those problems I keep ignoring.
  11. Create a new social event
    It’s been a while since geekdinner, barcamp, hackday, geeks talk sexy, 2nd degree dinner, Manchester futurists and much more. I’ve been hovering on creating a new type of social event post pandemic and come across a few good examples recently. 2025 is a good time to do something different and unique I feel, especially as it would be good to get back into the swing of things.
  12. Do my bit for others in the community
    One thing I certainly will miss after I leave the BBC is mentoring. I mentored quite a few people and even been involved in reverse mentoring (where I was mentoring someone further up the hierarchy about diversity and inclusion). I was part of Million mentors but struggled with work commitments, so now seems like a good time to do similar or potentially look at other things I could do, like helping people to manage technology?

A review of my 2024 resolutions

Two people looking into the camera for a selfie while on a cable car in London

This year has been full of ups and downs, its a year I’m not going to forget.

2024 is when I got Covid again for the 2nd time. Once again it was in another country (this time the Netherlands) while at MozHouse Amsterdam. Where I spent a lot of time this year due to 4 conferences (PublicSpaces, Mozhouse AMS, Dutch media week and Society 5.0).

Talking about travel, I ended up in Bristol, Audenshaw, Weston Super Mare, Lancaster, Cardiff, Amsterdam, Hiversum, Henden Bridge, Liverpool, Birmingham, Bath, Buxton, Harderwjik, Berlin, Newcastle, Gateshead, Oslo, Sheffield, Barcelona, Sitges, Hoofddorp, Zwolle, York, Huddlesfield, Newport and London; this year.

I’m happy to say I took the train a lot including the Eurostar into Europe a few times. However my train rides around the UK resulted in many delays and cancellationshttps://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/dec/21/just-2-of-busiest-trains-on-key-london-to-manchester-line-run-on-time. I have worked out its resulted in me applying for delay reclaim over 50% of the time! For example here is my diversion from Bristol to Manchester via London due to the storm darragh.

My sleep has taken a bit of dive later in the year which makes sense as you will see. From average of 7.4 hours to 6.8 hours. Bedtime of about 1 am is working out; but my deep sleep goes into freefall when I need to get up early.

Most listened to podcast is Daily Tech News show (they keep change the artist tag) with Better offline and Podnews just behind that. Music wise, Tonepoet has the advantage, as my pacemaker doesn’t track me and I tend not to listen to single tracks on the go. Trakt indicates so far, I have watched 259 hours of TV shows and 318 hours of films.

Here is the review of my 2024 resolutions.

The Panel at Republica 2024 recreating the Neuralink press conference

  1. Digital nomad things
    Make or break year I wrote previously, well nothing moved on this front for me. I also been reading how digital nomads are causing a back lash.
  2. Finish my dating book
    Well I’m closer, really close. I attempt to use the gig platform fiver to get some external proof readers and it made was shocking how the scammers operate there. I’m still getting contacted by them right now, luckily its contained within the platform chat, which I have ignored.
    I still have many thoughts about the title, want to change the epilogue a bit to related to something I’m involved in.
  3. Head even further a field with the scooter
    Not happened but this is likely to happen next for sure, when I have more time. Will add to next years list.
  4. Learn to drive a car
    Another one which looks like will happen next year when I have a lot more time for reasons which will be clear soon. Another hold out for the the next years list.
  5. Listen to two Audiobooks every month
    This has been a good challenge and I have blown through 24 books with 28, although 2 of the books were quite short but still well worth listening to. I did also start a number of books but gave up on them as they were annoying or just not interesting in anyway. Its likely I will keep the goal at 24 for next year too although I might have more time.All the books I listened to in 2024
  6. Go to a new country
    This year I finally made it to Norway for the first time. Its a country I should have visited ages ago to complete my Scandinavian travels but never did. I went to Oslo and really enjoyed the short time I had there. I do have ideas for potential short trips to Switzerland and maybe the Czech republic, although Rural France is booked for a wedding.
  7. Go to a new Rollercoaster park
    I ended up going to Wallai again but I’m considering going to a lot more in the 2025. I certainly can do better, especially with Thorpe parks new ride Hyperia on my doorstep as such.
  8. Take the Diabolo skills up another level
    I still can’t do the infinite suicide but learned a bunch of new tricks and even ones of my own, although getting out of them can be tricky and a matter of luck.Ian practising diaboloing in the dying sunset
  9. Move over to privacy preserving protocols and platform
    This is happening more and more. Like many people I have pretty much ditched X/Twitter (although I do seem to get a few direct messages from the API which is strange). I lean on the Fediverse for all my social stuff and am generally very picky about new applications and services I use. For example I have been looking at knowledge management systems as I’ve been using Joplin too much like a notes store and could do with something new for project based stuff (feel free to shout at me, but I blame importing a bunch of Evernote & Standard notes stuff). I am always searching alternative.to for open and self hosting options. There is a big question of when I switch over my email to Proton, but thats still in the future right now.
  10. Separate out my food waste
    This is one I am happy to say I have done pretty much 85% of the time. Some tricky times is when I have a Airbnb guest and also when emptying the food waste bin into the main bin, which is generally quite empty now. This one is good and its just part of the routine now.
  11. Start to mark out significant moments in my history
    This one has started but I spent a lot of time working out how to best do it. I found a markdown schema/format called MarkWhen, which does exactly what I need. So far I have converted most of my significant moments but add more as I go. Plus I’m going backwards and finding dates for many more. Another good thing to have done and will keep on doing.
    Its also another indicator that although I love XML, I am do get Markdown is pretty human writable, which is important for those little tasks. Also I need to play with SaxonJS which can convert between Markdown and XML with ease.

    Room full of people looking to a stage with a woman standing and talking
    UWE Masters VR unofficial end party in Bristol after 4 years in the advisory role
  12. See more of my friends
    This has been ok, but I feel like I can do so much better than I have done so far. I might modify this one a bit in the next year to something less ambiguous

Should we all say I love you to friends?

I found this video and was pretty impressed with the conversation between Simon and Noah. There is a lot to unpack in the video but there was a question in the discussion which myself and my partner talked a lot about afterwards.

Especially the question…

Should we all say I love you to friends?

Its a really good point but I’ve been thinking about it ever since. With this in mind, I’m thinking about possibly saying it and potentially linking to the conversation some how (pretty hard to do in person of course).

My partner, as a female says it quite a lot to friends but as male, it still feels very loaded. Also she did say, she would feel a bit strange if I started saying I love you to my female friends too.

Since my brush with death, I have been hugging friends which is a lot more than I use to do while saying hi and bye to friends. Maybe I’ll give it a try and see what happens…

Look out friends… !

What do others think?

My new years resolutions for 2024

Me with a Diabolo

Following my review of last year… here’s my New Years Resolutions for 2024 which follows on from 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008 ones.

  1. Digital nomad things
    This is the make or break year I think. I need to move things forward as time is going by quickly and i’m not getting younger. My next step is a meeting with the Portuguese embassy to clarify the tax side of things. An official note could make all the difference.
  2. Finish my dating book
    Its been way too long and its so close now, as mentioned in the review of last year.I have all the illustrations now except the front cover (but have plans). I also formatted the latest version into the 8×5 inch book format using templates, added the illustrations and shared it with a selected few. I await there comments over the festive season, then another check and final look at by Hannah.So I’m expecting some changes but its well on its way now. This year I’m looking into self publishing alternatives to Amazon KDP. But I don’t see any problem with a printed and ebook version by the end of the 2024.
  3. Head even further a field with the scooter
    I still need to get the scooter out to mainland Europe, ideally 2024 is a good time before things change with visas, etc.
  4. Learn to drive a car
    There are times when a car would be helpful and now with the drive towards electric cars and automatic drive. Its just a matter of doing the theory test again and then booking lessons.
  5. Listen to two Audiobooks every month
    I have been listening to one a month, but its time to push for two a month. Its quite a push but I think its worthy of the push I think.
  6. Go to a new country
    Its been long and there is a lot of Europe I haven’t visited, plus I have friends in those places I could easily visit. Although there is a temptation to visit some of the places again with my partner, new places do bring a new experiences.
  7. Go to a new Rollercoaster park
    A regular resolution but a good one and if I head to another country, its certainly high on the list.
  8. Take the Diabolo skills up another level
    I’m doing some exciting things with the diabolo but I really need to see some of the tricks done in person. YouTube is good but to really get a grip of the advanced tricks I need to meet other people doing the diabo lo.
    Next year its time to meet more of them and learn those tricks like the infinite suicide!
  9. Move over to privacy preserving protocols and platform
    I am more and more annoyed at the business models of the majority of services out there. Cory frames it perfectly as enshittification and it’s frankly not on. Although this raises a bunch of questions about data portability (something I was deeply involved in, a long time ago regardless of what Wikipedia says) I need to just move! The alternatives are not only good enough in some places (tasks) but far better (like the fediverse). I will keep the old services but by the end of the year move over.
    I’m also going to lean more on my blog more to bring things back into one place, for example why isn’t my bookwrym account not attached to my blog? Its also a good way to do collections, rather than this type of thing.
  10. Separate out my food waste
    In most of the UK, food waste is separated from the rest. Just like how we recycle paper/card and some plastics. However as I live in a set of flats, Manchester Council tried to make us separate our food waste too. This was great because my main bin stopped smelling and I had to empty it a lot less. However the community bin for food recycling in the flat basement was full of different things because people kept emptying in plastic and other things into it. In the end Manchester council stopped food waste collection and we stopped food recycling (sadly).
    So my thought is to keep on doing it but empty the food waste inside decomposable plastic bags into the main community bins. Its not ideal but I think separating the waste is generally a good thing. Its a good habit and who knows maybe I’ll find a food waste bin to empty them into later.
  11. Start to mark out significant moments in my history
    One of the things I have done when mentoring as an exercise, is pull out key part of my/their life to help pick out key things which helped and hindered.
    It a great little way to help understand your life and paths going forward. But I always found different ways to illustrate them using categories/layers to hide personal, work, etc.
    Then recently I discovered Your life in weeks, which got looking around and finding a bunch of apps/webapps using the concept. This got me thinking about codifying key moments in life in a more neutral format. Ideally this would be XML but alas markdown will work better than CSV?
  12. See more of my friends
    My friends are diverse, interesting and are great to be around. During the Covid pandemic, I would call them up on the off chance and have some incredible conversations. It was amazing and some went on for 4 hours.
    I’m going to next year catch up with more of my friends I haven’t seen in years. Be it on the phone, online, in person, what ever works.

A open conversation about race with Tara & Stef from Truly Inc

During a very busy time over the last few months, I recorded a number of podcasts including the ones for the tech for good live (which I highly recommend listening to).

One of my friends from the past the incredible Tara Hunt aka Miss Rouge interviewed me for the Anatomy of White Supremacy in Marketing podcast (Anatomy of a strategy podcast). We sat back and just chatted, so theres a lot in the podcast which was cut but the core parts were contextualised and added to the 30min podcast.

I really enjoyed the conversation with Tara Hunt and Stef Forester (not related as she lost a R somewhere in the name). It was late night (almost midnight) when we recorded and although I was standing at my standing desk, we could have kept on going for another hour easily.

If I can offer a tip for new listeners of the Anatomy of White Supremacy in Marketing podcast. I would start with Tara and Stef talking about the bigger reasons for the podcast.

For the past few months, between COVID-19 and the Black Lives Matter protests, we’ve opted to put a pause on AoaS to create space for other conversations (with the exception of the episodes with Laura Fitton and Joe Jackman, which we thought were relevant to the COVID-19 discussion).

Now, we see that our silence on the topic of Black Lives Matter was akin to saying, “This is not our problem.” This was wrong and it took a Diversity, Equity & Inclusion facilitator, Karlyn Percil of KDPM Consulting Group, calling me (Tara) out on this silence to knock me out of my comfort zone (and white fragility).

So, Stef and I sat down and decided that we need to do the work and speak up about it and that this podcast was a fantastic place to start. This episode is the introduction to a series (which will be as long as it needs to be) of conversations with Black professionals in various parts of the marketing industry on their experiences, perspectives and insights into how marketing – as an industry, an institution and as a practice contributes to the perpetuation of white supremacy and anti-Black racism.

Then naturally the interview with moi before listening to the other great interviews which currently there is Anatomy of Code-Switching with Cher Jones.

3 parties in a week, and all for 40

40th Birthday

My parents asked me what I want to do for my birthday late last year. They were thinking I could do a big party in Bristol. But I suggested why not have three of them instead?

Each party/bash representing a section of my life so far.

  • Bristol (0-19)
  • London (19-28)
  • Manchester (28-40)

40 years of opioninated conversation and living life to the maximum

Of course my parents thought it was too much, but I was certain it was a good idea and I could do it.

Happy to say I was right. I had planned to put in sometime at the theme parks of England (Alton Towers, Thorpe Park, Blackpool) but due to half-term decided I’d better not because I would end up in queues (Love the European theme parks for this). Plus I decided I could fit everything around work (or work around everything). I won’t lie, I would have been absolutely exhausted if I did!

Manchester party

So it happened and I was blown away by the friends and family who attended but also helped make the whole thing happen. Couldn’t have done it all without them! Thanks to everyone who came, gave their time, cards (I got so many cards I had to shift them around the flat) and even gifts. Also thanks for all the people who wanted to be there but couldn’t make it for different reasons.

Thank you to everyone again! 40 started with a bang, look out for 50 – ha!

Platonic friendship is totally possible

The Friend Zone
I was lying in bed reading my eink tablet while listening to a podcast. One of my saved blogs to read was from doctor nerdlove – Why men & women can never be just friends is bullshit.

I swear I was pretty pissed off (like Dr Nerdlove) reading about how the state of platonic friendship was a lie and how men will always want it to be more. Heck Hans Fiene who wrote the original piece Dr Nerdlove was reply to; goes on to justify everything as not only being biological but bad for society. Seriously WTF!

Let’s review the logic on display here. Male relationships are inherently transactional. Men barter time for friendship with other men. Men cannot be friends with women because they need to fuck her. Therefore, by not dating or fucking them, women are cheating men by not giving them the goods that men have been paying for. 

…

In Fiene’s world, a woman not putting out for her male friends is bad enough. But there’s a worse crime being committed: because he’s stuck in this quagmire, he’s not fucking other people. And to be sure: that’s not his fault. He’s just too stupid to overrule his boner.

No. For real. That’s Fiene’s argument.

Repeat the “We’re just friends” mantra a thousand times. It won’t rewire the circuits of the male mind. All it will accomplish is deluding you into thinking he’s content to stay in the Friend Zone quicksand and deluding him into thinking he can break out of it by sinking even deeper.

…

But let’s get back to the premise. Men are trapped in the Friend Zone because being told that they’re just friends isn’t enough to make them realize that she will never sleep with him. Being friends is the trap that women, bless their hearts, can’t help but ensnare men into because Lord love ’em those boners are just SO POWERFUL. It’s only because women don’t frame the rejection in just the right way  – as is incumbent on them – to free men from their snares.

Of course its not just Hans crazy ideological view, I see it everywhere. Even my friends talk about the friendzone like I’ve been put in it like a naughty child. Most of the time its for the best of both people and friends is not lower on some imaginationary ladder. Its also not to help me ascend the status hierarchy!

My biggest problem is people treat love as binary. You are either in love or not/you are in or out. If you have been paying attention you will know love is much richer than this, it also doesn’t count for evolution, society and cultural changes.

Ruth Libby quote from Hackers film 1995
God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties – Ruth Libby ~ hackers 1995

As a male feminist who isn’t a slave to his dick and can engage his brain, I find the whole discussion hateful of women and wholly offensive to both sexes. Men and Women can be good friends full stop, if one chooses to take it one step further or backwards, thats just relationships (sometimes unequal).

Typifying people (male & female) is just bollox and it needs to end here!

Perfect 1000? is this really a thing?

perfect-1000

Ryan congratualted me on having 1000 facebook friends.

Ian did you know that you have exactly 1000 friends at the moment on Facebook? Any time you add someone you now are going to have to delete someone else to maintain this perfect number! … You’re part of an exclusive club!

I said “Ha! Is that really a thing?”

Of course it’s a thing haha when you have the perfect 1000 why would you want anything else?

I have never heard of this and had not really noticed I was now at 1000 friends. I’m assuming this maybe fits with some of the stereotypical very mild traits of OCD, people think about? Same as when some people like solid numbers, absolutes, perfection? To me it makes no difference and I’ll carry on adding friends adhoc.

Data & stats from Plex Mediaserver

A while ago I wrote about having so much bandwidth from hyperoptic gigabit broadband, means I can now share my media collection with friends.

Its great but its interesting looking at the data my friends are generating through their use of my sever. But it’s not all super smooth, mainly due to my poor single core AMD Sempron 2800 processor doing transcoding on the fly. The biggest problem is the Xbox Plex client, which we discovered doesn’t support x.264 at all, meaning transcoding the whole thing is the only way to view anything. My poor CPU maxes out at 100% during the whole thing. This seems to be a massive bug bear for many people out there… I dread to think what happens with H.265 encoded media.

I installed PlexPy a while ago and decided it was time to have a look.

plexpy Screenshot from 2016-04-042

The Chromecast isn’t anywhere as bad but still triggers transcoding, but to be fair I’ve not really played with the settings but I think theres a way to force the chromecast to play directly (Directstream). Some Smart TVs seem quite happy to take the direct stream putting absolutely no strain on my CPU.

plexpy Screenshot from 2016-04-041

Because of the strain on my CPU, I’m considering changing my CPU to something better. I mean even a quad core or six core processor would be ideal.

Although part of me is thinking maybe I should block all client which require transcoding, or maybe just block the Xbox Plex client. This doesn’t seem to be a problem with the Sony Playstation, from first tests. But I also wonder about DTS, MKV and h.265?

plexpy Screenshot from 2016-04-045

I mean its not like its heavily used anyway. Sure my one friend will like that (smile). The Chromecast is far and away the biggest client and we tried the Xbox 360 once just to see if it was any better (which it wasn’t)

plexpy Screenshot from 2016-04-044

The other stats generated are quite interesting to look at…
For example when most of my friends watch my media by hour of the day and which day.

plexpy Screenshot from 2016-04-043

Theres much more interesting stats but of course privacy of my friends is the up most importance. Maybe I should craft a EULA (End User Licence Agreement)?

Its really interesting to think about the ethics of data when you are the provider.

Find interesting people? Set up a second-degree dinner…

dating-against-humanity-62-638

Out of the blue I got a message from the mysterious Sam. I have known Sam for a while and sometimes we have chats in coffee shops while I work on Fridays. We are quite different characters and that always makes the discussions we have interesting, sometimes too interesting as I’m slightly distracted from my work.

The message read…

I was a bit busy when I got it, doing user testing on visual perceptive media (paper coming) but later in the day, I checked it out.

dating-against-humanity-7-638

Second degree dinners is a concept by Nat Eliason while getting to know interesting people in a new city.

Four months ago I moved to Austin knowing no one in the city but my 9 coworkers and a couple of acquaintances.

The problem I immediately needed to solve was:

“How do I find interesting new people?”

I tried Meetups, bars, events, all the typical places. But in almost every case, the return on investment in terms of “interesting people met” to “time spent” was terrible.

The best way to find people seemed to be to meet someone interesting, then try to meet as many of their close friends as possible.

But getting your friends (especially new ones) to throw parties or invite you out to things doesn’t scale and makes you feel needy, so how do you get looped into everyone’s friend network at once?

Ok the quantification of time vs effort in this case is a little awkward. But he does have a point. This is something I found when I moved from London to Manchester and in part when moving from Bristol to London.

I guess if you quantified the time, it would be pretty poor but I got to do crazy things like eat at every single Chinese restaurant in London’s China town over a period of a year. Good use of time, well I guess not but heck I enjoyed most of them. Quantification of enjoyment and experience is hard to do…

But back to the point!

What is a Second-Degree Dinner

A Second-Degree Dinner brings together 6 people who, mostly, don’t know each other.

There are two “hosts.” Both hosts invite someone who they enjoy spending time with and that they think is interesting.

Then, both of their invitees are expected to invite someone that they think is interesting and send them the invitation as well.

This way, the two hosts and the two initial invitees only know two other people at the dinner. They get to meet three new people.

The second-degree invitations will know only one person and get to meet four.

Best of all, you’re only meeting pre-vetted people. No weirdos, not some rando who’s trying to sell you on their social media consulting, only cool people.

Once the dinner starts, everyone goes around and says:

  • Who they are
  • Where they’re from
  • What they’re working on
  • Something they’re excited about. It could be a new book, app, relationship, anything that has them jazzed up.

The intros usually happen during ordering / getting drinks. It’s a good way to break the ice, make sure that everyone knows each others’ names, and give a bit of a background for the next portion.

Then the real fun begins. You go back around the circle, and each person talks about one thing that they’re struggling with or that’s a challenge in their life.

As soon as I read this, I thought of Me & Jodys dating idea where we have 8 strangers together for dinner with each other. It was similar an idea and we called it the starter, but romance was the core reason for them being put together. We did a test run with friends and it worked quite well, everybody seemed to have a good time and the feedback agreed with this. Yes its similar to Table8 but they are not the first to think of bring singles together in a group blind date type thing.

Unfortunately when we actually tried to run it at the Manchester flirty weekend, we failed to get enough men to sign up. We actually had 32 women! signed up and waiting and only one man (not including myself)! I’m actually suprised I haven’t wrote about this but I did spill the beans in a Lovegrumps podcast a while back. and my let down in mankind.

So I know this can work and I’ll actively be encouraging Sam to make it happen, even if I have to arrange most of it myself (ha!). Talking of which Nat has lot of tips on how to go about this. Lots are very much the social event stuff I’ve picked up running things like geekdinners, barcamps, etc.

I especially like…

Be Vulnerable First

As the host of the event, it’s your job to set the tone for how open everyone can be. You should share first during the workshop, and you should open yourself up through your challenge. Talk about an insecurity, weakness, fear, something that people wouldn’t expect a stranger to be comfortable talking about.

It’s scary, but people appreciate the openness and respond in kind. If you just talk about something very surface level, then no one else will open up either.

I’m not sure what Sam’s plans are but if he wants to make it a monthly thing, I wouldn’t say no. Thanks for highlighting this to me, I like it a lot and more I think about it, the more it makes me more excited and happy. I got a whole ton of people I could invite along but it all depends on the details.

Serendipity don’t you just love it?

Will you find more interesting people through this idea?

Most likely yes. Friends of friends is one of the best networks you have access to, this has been tested and proven to death. Add a level of serendipity and you are on to something. This why social networks are so popular and young people (use?) to find dates through friends of friends

Familar strangers from milgrams 1972 paper

Its important that the people are interesting in themselves (as in they are interesting, not in them-self). I have ideas about this which I wrote up in a follow up to Russell Davis’ original post. It was wonderful to talk about this at BarCampManchester6 and have katrina patel blog her thoughts afterwards.

Interesting people attract interesting people I’m sure… Its a attractor, like positive people tend to attract positive people?

Advantages of 1gig broadband: Plex media server

Plex Py

The advantage of having 1gig broadband (hyperfast) is the change of behaviour. Yes you can consume more and very quickly but its the symmetric nature which makes it interesting.

I have been running Plex media server for a while mainly to keep a track of my media, as I’m still running Kodi as the front ends.

One feature of plex media server is the ability to stream media to friends. Sitting on 1gig, I can share with a few close friends without even noticing. Its pretty seamless too, as long as they are using plex as a client. Luckily there are clients for many operating systems and devices including the xbox, playstation, firetv,  chromecast, etc.

Plex media server share

Its good, I once had 4 different friends watching media from my single core celeron server one evening. Did I notice? Nope, except when I noticed the activity indicator was lit up.

This got me thinking theres got be a way to visualise this stuff? Of course others have thought about the same and I installed Plex py.

Plex Py

Pretty cool eh?

The only downside right now is my single core server with 5400rpm drives (helps with the cooling) is rubbish at transcoding full HD content, especially burning in subtitles. Maybe its time for a server upgrade?

I’m also not certain about running everything through Plex, wondering what other solutions there might be which can work in a similar way.

Sharing is caring…

The endless pursuit for happiness

Had a great lunch conversation with Laura about her change of career…

It’s scary as hell to not have a model of what that looks like yet but it begins with following the truth in my heart and my intuition.

I’ve given in my notice. Just 1 month left until, well to be quite honest I have no idea what will follow. Only that it’s the right time for me to look deep within and embrace the fear, and do my best to transform it into excited energy that will fuel my unknown future.

We got talking about following her heart and there were a number of things I wanted to throw into the mix while we were talking. Luckily Laura’s new medium blog has enough pointers.

Surely life is about the journey?

I sense a deep amount of dissatisfaction in people in respect to their lives and jobs. Most of us are focused on building an awesome career, getting bigger houses and nicer cars. But it’s never ending and often unfulfilling. We are as a culture focused on living for this awesome happy future but when we get there we have no idea we are there or how to appreciate it as we already focused on the next goal.

Absolutely!

I can’t tell you how many people I know who just work to get money. I’m not saying its wrong, just not really what I want my life to be about. I have to admit I’m one of those lucky people who is doing what they love. Don’t get me wrong its not always sugar and sunshine but I can’t really imagine doing something else. If I wasn’t getting paid to do this, I would do it anyway somehow.

I don’t agree with Laura on this point…

So as I think you can tell, I ’ve decided to give up a great job and a career with lovely people and company.

You can still have a great job and ultimately career. But also follow your own path, thats where the risk comes. Somebody once said to me I was a bit of entrepreneur within the BBC. I usually rejected that, only because it conjures up visions of  solo activity working to make the most money. But when thinking about it again in the light of social  entrepreneurship, it makes more sense. I guess the senior firestarter job reflects this a little.

I got use to the idea that I will have to carve out my own career a long time ago. That career is full of collaborations and passionate people with similar goals and aspirations. I didn’t want to make a choose between the two, so I combined them.

Laura’s aspirations, (Happiness Documentary Series,  School of Life style Social Enterprise and Wilderness retreat) could be a collaboration and a career in themselves. She’s going about it the right way but its a easy mistake to think of them in a exclusive way.

Unfortunately there’s no manual for this kind of personal quest but I’m hoping sharing my story will connect me with others who have or are in the process of changing their lives.

Following your own path is the key here and I think there is something big about documenting the experiences. I started blogging 12 years ago and I still do it, not just because of the halo effect but its useful to rationalise my own very busy connected thoughts to myself and sometimes to others.

The journey and the experiences/stories I collected along the way, really form my personality and  its important to never waste your life living someone elses life.

Si Lumb always says something like… “If there’s an opportunity to experience something which will make a great story and it won’t put you or somebody else in danger… you should do it”

This drive to live life for the opportunities is powerful and transforming. I look forward to hearing how things progress Laura.

Mobile as a proxy for awkwardness?

Phone Guy

You know the situation when you get into a lift and try not to make eye contact with anybody? The 21 century equivalent has to be, stare at your phone… Check your notifications and see what else is going on with your email or facebook. Because most lifts are mainly mirrored inside, its easy to see someone, looking for something to do. I hate to say it but its shocking how many people don’t have a lock on their phones and the simplicity of the code is crazy (4 ones anybody)

Oh no not you or me! Although to be fair I do when getting the lift down from the carpark at work check google now for what I’m going to be doing today. Not because I feel awkward, but I can’t check when I’m on the scooter driving (even with the pebble watch)

Not you? No of course not!

How about this one then?

Dinner, lunch, tea, coffee, breakfast, $whatever.  with a friend or date, you don’t check the phone as your eating and chatting. No because that would be bloody rude (although I have had a few dates do this and its driven me crazy inside, to the degree that I have had to say something like “oh sorry am I keeping you from somewhere?“)

No… they get up to go to the toilet and the first thing you do is reach for your phone. Either to text, tweet, check your notifications, check you don’t have something out of place in your teeth or just pass the time staring at the screen.

We all have done it! If you haven’t how about the other person. The person in the toilet. You’re all done with what you are doing then after washing and drying our hands (if your one of those flipping filthy people who don’t wash their hands after using the toilet, I have only nasty things to say to you!) After drying your hands looking in the mirror, we tend to reach for the phone. Same reasons text, tweet, check your notifications.

I’m sure you can think of many different other scenarios! Public transport for one. Social anxiety builds and its easier to just stare at the phone and be else where, anywhere? The viewing is different from wanting to retrieve and actively do something.

Our phones have become a proxy for awkwardness not just boredom… Sure Sherry Turkle would have lots to say about this.

Coffee and Bagel, future of online dating?

Coffee and Bagels

I heard about coffee meet bagel a while ago while researching online dating. The concept is simple and quite effortless. Less of a dating site and more of a way of dating in the modern world.

Coffee Meets Bagel launched in New York City in 2012, when three sisters decided there must be a better way to date in the Big Apple. They created CMB based on three guiding principles:

  1. Unless you want to tell others, your dating life should remain private.
  2. Your friends are the best conduits for your dates.
  3. Meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated.

Users sign up through Facebook and receive one match – a.k.a. a ‘Bagel’ – every day at noon that is somehow connected to them. Members then have a time limit in which to respond with a simple LIKE or PASS. If all goes well, Coffee and Bagel are put in touch via a private company texting line and magical breakfast-y sparks will fly.

Reason why I would put bets on this could be the future of online dating is because it seems to hit most of the sticking points right now.

  • Friends of friends. Leveraging what already exists and what people are doing today anyway. Using the network for the right reasons.
  • Facebook. How many users does your biggest online dating site have? I bet its a drop in the ocean compared to Facebook.
  • It could be free, low risk and low effort. No need to create a new profile, lie about your past, its all there in Facebook. And catfishing will drop as your friends really know who you are. And what kind of a person would you be if you recommended a catfish? Your reputation would be crap.

At the moment its not free but it would be simple to bypass the company. This would remove the pressure to squeeze every penny out of the opportunities.

This is what my single friend should have been… (Imho)

Should you play money poker with friends?

I say no. I think there’s too many things which can go wrong in a game especially when money in involved.

Victoria Coren seems to disagree but considers that social rules should be considered up front.

First, you have to decide whether you and your friend are happy to play fully against each other: trap-checking, check-raising, punchy value bets, the lot. If so, don’t be surprised if your friendship turns a little tense for a while. But there is no need to tell everyone your life story. Plenty of casino cohorts know each other and, if you’re playing straight, there’s nothing to announce.

If you are not prepared to treat your friend as any other opponent, you shouldn’t play on the same table. I am still stuck in an ancient tradition with my old mucker The Sweep: if we are heads-up in a casino pot, we check it down. That kind of thing must be announced, but should be avoided. Luckily, The Sweep is a total rock. If he so much as breathes on a pot, I fold everything but aces anyway.

Its getting a little like this when playing Werewolf with friends too.