Scratching the disappointment of masculinity on radio

BBC Merseyside debate

Its been a long time since I was last on BBC Merseyside.  has flown by, but I’ve done a lot in that time. Ngunan has asked a few times if I would come back on the show, and with Valentines day coming up, I agreed.

Theres a lot of history between us, especially when it comes to who pays on the first date. All we needed was Jody to complete the trip down memory lane.

In the middle I did give my 4 things for Valentines day from a singleton to the other million singletons in the UK.

  1. Get busy and don’t dwell on previous relationships
  2. Reconnect with old friends
  3. Get out of you’re comfort zone
  4. Do something constructive

Things took a interesting turn as we started to unpick why… I won’t spoil it but I’ll be back to talk more about the disappointment of masculinity, something I picked up from Trainspotting T2 a few weeks earlier.

Trainspotting director Danny Boyle has revealed that its long-awaited sequel is going to be about “manhood and disappointed masculinity.”

I have clipped the audio without the music on archive.org but you can hear it in full on BBC iplayer.

Pick up vs Flirting, where do you stand?

BBC Merseyside radio studio

I had the pleasure of joining Jody again on Nguana’s Upfront show.

If you have not heard the other times we have been on the show, do check them out. My favorites being Who pays on the first date and the height debate.

We touched on pickup in part which was the less sleazy side of pickup (more seduction I guess) and how it blurs with flirting. It was a lively discussion and lots of fun, just right for a Sunday evening. I even got the question suggested to me by Coldclimate ages ago in as a conversation starter.

Question: Who would win in a fight at the beach between a Giant Squid and a Bear?

You can answer and give your reasons using the google form we setup. Maybe I should put it out to qriously?

Regardless, I finally got Ngnana to pay for a date! This is pretty massive, I’ll be interested to hear what happens… I can just imagine the same experience I had but this time dished out from myself and Jody.

Next time its about long distance relationships… so look out for the same fun, spiky and fruitful conversation in late September…

As usual you can listen to the whole show including the timely love advice for Leomar at the end via BBC iPlayer for the next few days or I clipped a version and ripped out the music for copyright reasons on archive.org.

Is it really TV time again?

Shane says this has my name all over it

Fancy sharing your dating dramas with the world? Well now’s your chance – with BBC3 looking for online daters to tell their side of the digital story.

As data has grown and given people more means of communication, so technology has advanced to bring people even closer than ever – or has it?
With social networking sites connecting friends via a number of platforms, the cyber highway has taken networking to the next level – literally.

Online dating has become a global phenomenon, with people seeking love all over the world in the hope of finding ‘The One’ – and now leading UK television production company Roughcut TV is on the lookout for any volunteers willing to divulge their experiences, particularly those using dating apps such as Tinder.

Assistant producer, Alana McVerry, says: “The documentary we’re making for BBC3 is broadly looking at dating and relationships in the age of technology. We’re looking at how dating and relationships have changed given that we’ve now got access to more people than ever before and dating has become a truly global market.

“Does having access to more people than ever before make us pickier? Or does it make us more likely to find a good match? Now that we’re looking online are we looking at different things like grammar and spelling and picking apart profiles and characteristics, which we wouldn’t do if that person was standing right in front of us?”

When I first heard about it I said sure sounds good, then Marie wrote on twitter saying, would I like to be on TV again. My instant thought is oh my goodness… TV not a again and BBC Three again! And what is the link with welovedates.com? (never heard of this site before). I originally thought it was Radio, so I suggested Marie should check out the radio shows pieces I’ve done for BBC Merseyside’s Upfront.

Lets remember what happened the last few times I was on TV (plus I’m not a fan of the TV people)

The Year of Making love… and How to have more sex

I would have to be some sort of sadistic guy to put myself through it all again. And frankly this has such a small amount of information about its actual purpose. I’m already imagining a show full of people moaning about the bad side of online dating, rather than mentioning the good stuff which can happen too.  If it was a good BBC programme, it would mention both sides really?

Anyway unless I hear differently from Marie Northon and the rest of the production team, its going to be no.

You will have to read about my dating dramas in my book which I’m still writing slowly… Funny enough I was writing chapter 13 in my local when Shane tweeted originally.

BBC Merseyside Upfront feminism debate, to be continued…

Its 2014 and one of the fun things I’ve been doing in 2013 is joining Nguana’s radio show Upfront, on BBC Merseyside. Partner in crime Jody, keeps the whole thing turning into a Ian vs Nguana and friends verbal wipping. Trust me it would turn that way…

This time the debate was “has femisim gone crazy?” Not exactly what it was planned to be but go with it…

As I said in the post previously…

I have already declared myself a feminist in the blog post my crisis with masculinity and how feminism set me free. I originally was expecting lots more push back than I actually got but not being far from a good debate.

So it went really well, the debate was more about common decency to not just women but all humans. We did slowly get into more feminist topics but we ran out of time before we could get going. It was clear that a part 2 is needed. Hopefully some of the other guests will be on too, so they can add to the debate.

You can listen to the whole show for another 6 days on BBC iPlayer on Demand (about 90mins in for 25mins). Otherwise and for the international readers/listeners you can listen to a clipped version I created for archive purposes without the music.

Listen to the debate on Feminism and dating

I have already declared myself a feminist in the blog post my crisis with masculinity and how feminism set me free. I originally was expecting lots more push back than I actually got but not being far from a good debate I thought I’d let you all know that this Sunday on BBC Merseyside, I’ll be on talking about feminism in the context of online dating.

Of course it would be simply weird if it was just me and host Nguana debating. So we’ll be joined by my lovely partner in dating crime, Jody. Theres also other guests to going to join us, but expect fireworks and outrageous debate on a Sunday night.

You can tune in live by listening to the live stream from between 9pm and 10pm on Sunday. Not sure if Nguana is taking phone-ins but you can try calling in if we upset you in some way. Of course you can listen on-demand via BBC iPlayer later for up to 7 days. I’ll try and make a archive copy without the music again for those living out side the UK.

If you want to hear the fun we have on air, listen to one of these other shows…

The Height debate on BBC Merseyside

BBC Merseyside's Upfront

Third time on BBC Merseyside’s upfront with Ngunan and Jody. This time the topic centred around the height issue.

You can find the show on BBC iplayer for another 6 days.You need to start about 1hour 6mins in the stream.

I have also added it to archive.org and removed the music.

Its a good fun debate and although were laughing most of the way through, there is the serious side which only hits Ngunan when Jody pointed out how it works in online dating. You rule out a massive selection of potential people just because they are not your ideal height. It was also great to have Ngunan’s other guests who were a gay couple and gave us a view from the gay perspective.

Don’t worry we’ll be back on Upfront in the new year with other topics of interest

Upfront therapy on BBC Merseyside

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Back on the airwaves of BBC Radio Merseyside discussing topics of the heart.

From how much to share with your partner to a critical deconstruction of my love life, its all on BBC Merseyside (1hour 10mins in). Some how we turned from me telling/blaming the ladies of upfront about how I paid when I should have gone dutch into a live therapy session! Interesting being called a serial dater again and again. Of course thats a debate in its self… Who knows maybe we’ll go into that topic one day?

As usual its funny and good Sunday night entertainment which you can catch up on for 7 more days.

There’s a archive copy here too once the 7 days pass.

The Radio debate: Who pays on the first date?

Who pays on the first date: the debate

What can I say…? Time fliesWhat was I worried about ?

It was fun to be honest… Thanks to Ngunan Adamu, Northern Lass and the rest of the radio team.

I forgot how much I love Radio. Its so simple and so flexible. Me and Northern Lass turned up about 30mins beforehand. Spoke the production team for a while then we were in to the studio. Yes it was 3 against 2 and Ngunan was in control of the faders. Originally It started out with 4 vs 2, so hey it could be worst. No need for the facts and data on my tablet.

Judging by the first story (poor EJ), some more dating advice could be debated. The Godfreds experience is bad but you can’t let one bad person change your values and views. The “its part of the culture” is interesting and may need to be explored a little more.Through-out the debate they never answered the question of what happens when you speed date or meet through other means. (actually Ngunan said she wasn’t sure if it applies then).

Know your place as a man? Really? And the whole Emasculating thing, geeez! Come on!

I was so happy when Frankie asked for Kanya West. “Very proud gold digger” indeed!

If you didn’t hear the show, never fear you can listen to it on BBC iPlayer (UK only sorry and be quick its only up for 7 days). Its 1hour 8mins in to the show upfront. For friends outside the UK, there is a cut on Archive.org

Before entering the dragons den… Radio debate

entering

I sent a email to my friends about my debate on the radio tonight
Just in-case you didn’t know, I’m due today to debate the topic of “who pays on the first date” with my good internet friend Northern Lass 32 (http://www.theguardian.com/profile/northern-lass). I assume most of you know my feelings about this but I guess debating it live will be tricky, specially against the woman (Ngunan – https://twitter.com/NgunanAdamuBBC) who triggered my whole research into the area. So blame her!
As its her programme, I may take it easy on her but I’m expecting she will cut me off with clever use of the faders if I make a good point 🙂 No idea if theres live calls or if Ngunan has another guest to help her.
Feel like i’m walking into the Dragons Den here…
So I have no idea what’s going to happen tonight but its from about 9pm on BBC Radio Merseyside which I believe goes out live on the internet too (UK only I think) – http://www.bbc.co.uk/radiomerseyside/on-air
Don’t think they make a podcast of the show, so it might be a one time deal sorry…
I will see if I can record it somehow too.
Should be fun 🙂 Please feel free to share it around and listen…

Radio debate: Who pays on the first date?

Well its finally happening…

This Sunday (18th August 2013) evening on BBC Merseyside Radio, myself, Northern Lass 32 and Ngunan Adamu will battle it out to understand who should actually pay on the first date.

Of course I’ll be arguing that we should go dutch, while Ngunan will be arguing that the man should pay. Very sure Northern Lass will not be arguing the view point of the woman should pay. So I may have to bring that side of things up briefly. My research is vast from the stuff I’ve done myself, to the stuff I’ve read, blogged, recorded and of course the feedback gotten. And who could forget the massive trigger of comments Northern Lass kicked off following a early morning breakfast with me.

It might seem like me and Northern lass ganging up on Ngunan but I’m sure she will have support and to be fair its her show plus shes got a loud mouth, so don’t worry it will be a fair fight *smile*. I’m expected to be cut off a few times at least. I’m going to need Northern Lass just to bring some balance…

So if your free on Sunday, don’t forget to listen in and I believe its a live call in, so you could come on and join us. Not sure when its going to happen or how its going to happen but its going to be fun. Lets just hope I can understand Ngunan on air, because I can’t understand a word she says in real life most of the time.

Expect a full blog afterwards…