You could be flirting on dating apps with paid impersonators

Cognitive burn-out

When I first saw the post about people flirting with paid people acting on your behalf. I won’t lie, I was quite shocked. But it makes sense, online dating is draining.

Online dating takes effort, and effort equals time,” he continued. “With [dating apps’] explosion in popularity, it means that you have a huge dating pool at your fingertips, but you’re also in direct competition with everyone else in your area. So if you want to have a chance at meeting your most intriguing matches, you need to have the best possible profile, photos, and messages.”

Although I understand it just feels unethical in a way I can’t describe. Its  similar to my reaction while reading OkCupid founder Christian Rudder’s book Dataclysm about the response rate to generic messages vs organic messages.

The company’s practices may be unethical—but they’re not illegal. Once the company obtains the client’s permission to impersonate them online, there are no laws against what Closers do.

Instead, it’s left to individual platforms to crack down on fake accounts. OKCupid, for instance, makes it clear in their terms of service that third parties are not allowed to open accounts, and it’s not uncommon for clients’ profiles to get flagged and deleted. But from a legal perspective, unless a Closer harasses or threatens a match, exposes a client’s confidential information, or asks for money, everything they do is legal according to US, Canadian, and UK law.

But legality aside, these cut-and-paste flirtations perpetuate negative gender stereotypes, and they reinforce an oversimplified (and destructive) view of romantic expectations.

Its well worth a read

You could be flirting on dating apps with paid impersonators

Manchester’s Flirty weekend starts Thursday 27th November

Marina's portrait I - IMG_8005 ed bw

Is Manchester ready for the Flirty weekend? Are you ready for the flirty weekender?

Starting Thursday 27th November we have a exclusive Flirtology workshop in Manchester. The next day will see one more evening of the premiere flirting workshop, then Saturday night a special event we are calling “the starter” hosted by myself and Jody. If all goes well, we may take to the airwaves of BBC Merseyside to reflect on how the Manchester flirty weekend went.

More details will be coming soon, but look out for it… you won’t want to miss this!

Pick up vs Flirting, where do you stand?

BBC Merseyside radio studio

I had the pleasure of joining Jody again on Nguana’s Upfront show.

If you have not heard the other times we have been on the show, do check them out. My favorites being Who pays on the first date and the height debate.

We touched on pickup in part which was the less sleazy side of pickup (more seduction I guess) and how it blurs with flirting. It was a lively discussion and lots of fun, just right for a Sunday evening. I even got the question suggested to me by Coldclimate ages ago in as a conversation starter.

Question: Who would win in a fight at the beach between a Giant Squid and a Bear?

You can answer and give your reasons using the google form we setup. Maybe I should put it out to qriously?

Regardless, I finally got Ngnana to pay for a date! This is pretty massive, I’ll be interested to hear what happens… I can just imagine the same experience I had but this time dished out from myself and Jody.

Next time its about long distance relationships… so look out for the same fun, spiky and fruitful conversation in late September…

As usual you can listen to the whole show including the timely love advice for Leomar at the end via BBC iPlayer for the next few days or I clipped a version and ripped out the music for copyright reasons on archive.org.