Geeks talk sexy: The flirt and pickup workshop

I was always nervous about the concept of doing a Geeks talk sexy workshop. However I pushed on with the help of Hwayoung Jung and Simon Carter.

The Concept was simple, take a bunch of geeks on one of Nicole’s Flirt and Walk tours in Manchester instead of London. But then afterwards have a couple of pickup artists talk to the group and maybe take them out.

After finally getting everyone on board (we had to switch from 2 pickup artists to 1 due to scheduling) the day finally came. The number of places also filled up at the end. We quickly filled to 12 people on the day before and unfortunately we had turn people away via the eventbrite signup. In the end we ended up with about 10 people through out the whole workshop.

It started in Madlab at 6pm, once people started turning up Nicole greeted them on the ground floor. Everyone sat around wondering what they had signed up to but we keyed them into the schedule for the evening and made people comfortable, before jumping into the first task/workshop as they walked up to the top floor of Madlab.

Nicole in her most charming way, ran a few workshops upstairs including staring at a person, sitting next to you. The idea was to get people thinking about body language. A nice little debate started up about length of time to stare at someone, depending on city and area. The suggestion was that if you stare at someone for 2 secs in London, you might end up getting your head kicked in. While in outer Manchester, it wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Geeks talk sexy flirting workshop

After a few more exercises, it was time for the walkabout. On the way down to the Cooperative supermarket (just off market street, near the Arndale shopping centre) we were told to meet eye contact with people on the street and maybe even wink at one or two of them. I don’t believe anyone achieved the wink but catching people glances seemed to work, specially when a smile was added.

The shopping market task was to strike up a conversation with people in the store as you shopped (or at least made it look like you were shopping). There was extra bonus points if it was someone you fancied. So with that I personally took to the isles looking for the tea & coffee section, logic being you could easily ask someone for there advice on teas and coffees, plus you may get some nice ladies hanging out there or something (made sense in my head). In the end I got talking to a lovely blonde girl of about 25 in the beer, wine and spirits isle. I asked her about the beer she was buying and admitted my hate for beer but the need to buy some for a friends party today (little white lie). She wasn’t very talkative but I kept pushing and backed off at maybe just the right moment.

Geeks talk sexy flirting workshop

Others in the group tried at the Cooperative and the Tesco Metro just down the street. There was a lack of the general public but the task came to a end in the cooperative when security had a word with one of the guys and suggested they would be calling the police if they didn’t leave the store. I was in Tesco at the time, so I came back to find most people standing outside cooperative with the security and a manager standing close to the door way.

It was obviously time to move on, and share stories in a bar over drinks. That was the end of the Flirt club section of the evening. Now was the pickup section with Simon.

After a little while, we enter the photographic studios of Amir Shah, who kindly let us use them for the workshop. Everyone gathered around a table and Simon stood up and gave a really interesting talk about the game and how/why he got into it…

Geeks talk sexy workshop

Simon was frank, honest and open when he talked about a relationship which went very bad and how he had to pick himself up. For him the book the game is nothing more that a self help book. He used it to pick himself up and better himself. Not by abusing his new found confidence but by finding himself. It sounds all very zen/new age but actually its quite touching. In actual fact I’ve found quite a few touching stories in the process of doing geeks talk sexy, including the story of Chris and Simon Carter. At that point I realised I was treating Simon like all the others I’ve known who had read the game, but in actual fact he was different.

Had I been too monochrome about people who read the game? I mean I had read the game too, many years ago and choose not to follow it or practice many of its techniques. Its possible (small chance I know 🙂 that someone else (Simon in this case) had come to a similar conclusion?

In the Q&A which followed, lots of techniques were explored including the highly controversial technique the Neg. Simon talked about it and suggested he also doesn’t really like it but sees what its trying to do. He made a lot of good points about self confidence and meeting your own personal potential. Also a lot of things Nicole talked about fitted really well with Simon’s points.

Finally Simon talked about moving away from the pickup artist title. Like a Limitless which came out just recently, the ability was just part of him now. He was no longer acting and doing, it was just part of his personality now. And it shows… When I first was clued into the fact Simon was involved in pickup, I didn’t really believe it. I just thought that was his personality but then again, I’ve only known Simon for about 4 years and had very limited contact with him at that. I can hardly blame him for wanting to move on from pickup (maybe this is why he was so frustrated with the workshop description and title) There’s been a lot of negativity about the pickup aspect from many corners but Simon’s advice was consistent with my own and Nicole’s. It mainly boils down to,

  • Be yourself
  • Feel confident within yourself
  • Don’t put people on a pedestals
  • Treat people as people
  • Your time is important
  • Be the best that you can be

Mid flow

Before long our time was up and that was the end of Geeks talk sexy season 1. Although we had to change things on the run up to the workshop, it all worked out really well. The people who signed up were willing to push there own boundaries and accept they might need a little help in this area. As Simon said, no one really teaches you how to talk to potential love interests, its just something which your left to figure out by yourself… This also use to be the case for sex, but now there’s reasonable sex education in school… Not that I’m suggesting they should teach this in school but imagine the benefits if they did?

(Btw, its worth listening to this Techgrumps #29 where in the last 3rd, I discuss the Geeks talk sexy workshop and some of the insights and feedback I got from it.)

Geeks talk sexy has been a remarkable series and has expanded by own knowledge and experience. Hopefully its also done the same for other people. I certainly think there will be a second season, and maybe we’ll run the geek speed dating event and of course the flirt and pickup workshop again.

Thanks once again to Nicole, Simon, Amir, Hwayoung, Simon, Samantha and everyone who’s taken a interest in geeks talks sexy, its been one heck of a ride….

This was almost the last night of my life

About one year ago, I went to sleep after trying to stay up watching the National Elections of 2010. It must have been about 1am. I remember watching the election show on BBC one and falling a sleep a few times. So in the end I went to bed, not knowing who had won the election. Who would have thought the Liberal Democrats would have teamed up with the Conservatives to create a collation government?

When I woke up the next day, the bleed on my brain had already started to cause damage to my memory because the only thing I remember is the cleaner knocking on the door and me thinking well my flat mate will get up and let her in.

No doubt May will be a time for reflection for myself…

As always its great to be alive

Look out for me in the Guardian next week

Me and the BBC

Yes I just about survived the embarrassment of being the face of BBC North’s recruitment event earlier this week. BBC North have stepped it up and are about to launch a series of adverts in the Guardian next week. So I’m preparing myself for people twittering and pinging me saying, hey I saw Ian in the Guardian today…

Oh and Happy Birthday to me… This weekend is my 30th Birthday Redux.

Me in the guardian today (11/4/2011)
Me in the Guardian today (11/4/2011), look for the Media Guardian pull out section.

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Northern Quarter Street Party

Fussion Dance and Rhythm UICA Street Party 8-8-09 10

Coming to Edge Street on the 29th April 2011, a 1940s-style street party celebrating the Northern Quarter. Featuring bunting, cake, punch and so much more.

Northern Quarter Street Party wants YOU! There’s lots of ways to get involved. Want to set up a stall? Bake a cake? Make some bunting? Have an idea about something you’d like to do or see? We want to hear from you!

Follow us on twitter: @NQStreetParty

Get involved here: nqstreetparty@gmail.com

An idea which came out of Social Media Cafe Manchesterlast month was the Northern Quarter street party, an idea of Carole Keating. I was tempted to get involved but thought better of it because I don’t fancy the stress of the event specially with only 1 month left.

I’ve been giving Carole my expertise in setting up barcamps with ultra very low budgets, and so somewhat getting involved but at much lower level that I’m use to.

Carole’s doing a great job but theres so much left to do and not a lot of time to do it in, so I’m seeing what the BBC can do to help. If that link up works, then I can be a little more involved.

Anyhow, I’m sure there will be lots more to say in the very near future.

Meet BBC North – 5th April

Myself on poster

Yes that is me before my bleed on the brain. Wow how scary did I look… Can’t imagine why they would want to use me to advertise BBC North?

Anyway things are going great at the BBC and we’re not far from moving into to Salford Quays. I got the chance to see the floor below where we are going to move to today and I was impressed. The space I thought would be like the broadcast centre or media centre in white city but it felt nothing like that. It actually felt very warm and cozy even with the huge amount of glass.

Can’t wait to get in to the space and make it ours.

Gotta love slow cooking

Slow Cooker

I finally bought a slow cooker after recommendation from multiple people I’ve only used it a couple times but every time so far its turned out really good food.

To be fair its almost the total opposite of the way I usually cook. I’m more of a 20mins and I’m done in the kitchen kind of guy. The wok is my friend, hence why I have about 8 of them (all different sizes ranging from 8 inches to 16 inches)

My lovely mum sent me a slow cooking cook book which has been handy for working out roughly what I can or can not do. Generally it seems most of the time, you can throw stuff into the pot, add a ton of vegetables, spices and a bit of meat, then leave it to cook.

The other day I left it cooking while I went out and then by the time I got back it was very late and so I left it cooking over night. So maybe left it cooking for about 18 hours in total. I was a little worried if it was ok to leave it on for so long, you know wake up to a massive fire or a burned out slow cooker but I woke up to a lovely smell of cooked onions and veg. The beef was extremely tender and like the chicken I’d had before almost flaked apart when forked.

The weird part is, I’ve found you don’t need so much meat, so my intake of meat is greatly reduced by the slow cooking process.

I’m catching the slow cooking vibe…as my boss said, its kind of addictive in a funny way. Although I do tend have my wok ready when I just want something quick.

HTC Incredible is incredible

The story is simply crazy, a man (Garber) takes a stray bullet outside a club in illinois and instead of it hitting him, his phone takes the bullet. Believe it or not its a HTC incredible.

According to the Associated Press, Garber was working at Club Halo when two men were thrown out of the club. Police say that the men allegedly ventured over to a car, grabbed some weapons and began to shoot indiscriminately in the direction of the club.

One of the bullets went through Garber’s coat and was about to do him severe damage. Suddenly, it was intercepted by his HTC phone (yes, it was a Droid Incredible), which he had put into the chest pocket of his jacket.

Garber’s coat is now adorned with a bullet hole. The top left corner of his red cell phone battery now enjoys a dent that signifies it wouldn’t let the bullet through.

No one was injured in this shooting and police happened to be near the club and managed to chase down the alleged shooters, from whose car they reportedly recovered two handguns.

Garber told the AP: "It’s just one of those crazy things in life."

A step towards achiving one of my new years resolutions

My new mini (8 inch) Woks

Number 9 on the long list of new years resolutions included living a healthy lifestyle.

As part of this I’ve item, I ended up buying 3 new woks. The difference is being they are little mini 8 inch wok’s. There so sweet and mini! The other woks I owned ranged from a middle of the road 12 inch to a massive 15 inch. Hopefully with a smaller wok to cook in, i’ll cook a lot less and end up with smaller portions to eat.

My new Skateboard

My new Skateboard

Theres a strange divide in my friends, most won’t connect me with a skateboard but in actual fact in Bristol I was known as the kid with the skateboard.

Ross and Carly decided to buy me a skateboard for Christmas and I’ve finally had a little ride around my flat (the wooden floors make it perfect for doing so).

The next step is to take it out for a ride outdoors, and to be fair Central Manchester is great for skateboarding because its mainly quite flat and everythings not that far on a skateboard. I can also hop on and off the free buses (yes Manchester has a few free buses) if I get tired of skating.

Before you start thinking about ole kickflips and all that. I only really used the skateboard to get around town. I use to travel a total of about 4/5 miles a day going to work in showcase cinema. Then sometimes I would travel back up hill late at night on the skateboard.

Yeah I was pretty much tied to the skateboard and although hanging the skateboard off a wall in my flat was the original idea. I’m getting tempted to go for a quick spin and maybe use it to go to work on.

New Years Resolutions 2011

So after reviewing my 2010 resolutions its time for my 2011 resolutions

  1. Ski on real snow
    Yes every year I say this but seriously this coming year, I’m going to do it at that indoor snow place (Chill Factor) in the Trafford Centre.
  2. Organise a Trance night in Manchester
    Not only can I dj but i’ve found 2 djs from work and 2 other geek djs who are interested in djing out. Enough to surely put together my own night. Ok no one would get paid at the start but heck we’re all doing it for the fun of it.
    On top of that, I’m also hoping to get more involved with music and maybe do a few live broadcasts via the pacemaker. Either on my own station as such or else where. Of course you’ll certainly see more mixes on mixcloud.
  3. Read more non-news stuff
    Since I bought my ebook reader (the sony one) I’ve honestly read more that ever more. Even when I had my ipaq and use to take 3 hours to cross South London. But I seem to be reading lots of news and blogs rather that books. This isn’t necessarily bad but there are lots of books I would like to read. So now I got the Kindle, I’m hoping to slow down a little more and read more non-news.
  4. Live even more in the public
    I’ve come around to the fact that I’m a very public person and although there are certain things I won’t reveal to the public (isn’t a person able to keep a few secrets) I’m generally going to be more open and public that before. I know some of my friends will be saying heck no, please no more but I don’t really see a seriously bad side to all this. i’m already considering making my dating profile public, right now it links to my online persona in parts which might be why I’m getting the type of woman reply that I do.
  5. Document more online (including films, books, photos, etc)
    Luckily this should be much easier this time. I did microblog (twitter/identi.ca) every film using the hash tag #film but then I noticed Twitter was cutting off my entries past a certain date. Identica fairs much better going right back to Jan 09, but I only really post to identica when I’m at my laptop (really need to find a identica/statusnet client for android). Anyway, now I’m using Trakt, things should be easier. Although I got to say having my film collection online does raise lots of questions.
    On the photo front, the Nikon D40x (DSLR) is helping a lot, but I’ve still not picked up the courage to shoot people on the street like pebaline (susanna’s great work). I’ve also got first dibs on shooting our work area at Media City for Wovox. Of course Dataportability is still high in priority as always.
  6. Meet more young, progressive, single and central located people
    My boss (adrian) made the point a while ago when he took me to hospital with Tim (my ex-flat mate) I know lots of people from all over the world but I don’t know many people in Manchester or the North. I live in one of the party central locations of england and I should be out all the time but alas I don’t really have many people to go out with (yes cue the violins). So its time to change that and get to know more people. I say single but thats only because I already know lots of couples and its nice to go out with people with a similar status, be them male or female.
  7. Consider going out with woman who have kids
    I’m 32 this year and its becoming more and more difficult to meet women who don’t have kid(s). Although I’m not really bothered either way about single parent families, I’ve tried to only date women who have no kids to date. I spoke to my ex-wife (Sarah) and she gave me some advise (thats how we originally got talking online, she was giving me advice about a girlfriend I was having trouble with at the time) regards to meeting woman who have a kid. So I’m not going to rule it out like I was before.
  8. Get my finances in order
    Now I got a mortgage again, its time to be a little stricter about my spending. I earn quite a nice salary and heck I live in quite a reasonable place for going out. So I should be paying off more that I currently am. I was actually doing ok then I blew up my scooter engine and spent the good part of a grand buying a another one. I also think this might be the last motorbike regrettably
  9. Work more on my healthy lifestyle
    Although I had the bleed on my brain back in May/June, I’m certainly a lot more healthy that I ever was before. I had no idea I had high blood pressure and a lot of the small things were tied to that. So now I have that under control (thanks mum & dad for the blood pressure monitor for Christmas). I generally eat healthy but I do eat quite a bit. So hopefully little things like buying smaller woks will help aid with this.
  10. Play much more
    I have a feeling that play is going to be massive. Its going to be weaved into almost everything around us. I would go as far as to say play will be as big as social was in the late 2000’s. I say play because it doesn’t mean we’ll be playing more Xbox games, no the concepts and mechanics of gaming will make it into more and more things. So its time to get a lot more serious about my own playtime.
  11. Spend more time thinking deeper and focusing
    After the life/death experience I’ve had this year, I’ve done a number of things to improve myself but what still amazes me is our brains. Between hypnotherapy, mydreamscape and a few other things I’ve observed. I’ve come to realize that our brains are extremely powerful and even the idea of positive thought can do amazing things. My social worker (yeah they assigned one to me when I came out of hospital) said these type of life or death experiences makes you question your religious outlook. Although this hasn’t happen for me (although I am thankful to everyone who prayed for me) it has certainly made more interested in what can be done when you really focus hard.
  12. Take Geek Culture to new heights
    This is a bit of a aspirational one (not that there is nothing wrong with that), along side running a full barcamp at Media City UK and putting effort into the BarCamp WikiBook. I’ve been thinking, I’m really interested in what happened to the girl geekdinners, Sarah Blow and the other ladies worked very hard to make it the success that its has become. I feel there might be something with the geeks talk sexy series. We’ve only done one so far but there is something surprisingly compelling about geek culture right now and I think now the general public has the taste. So hopefully the rest of series will be even more successful and the chance to do run at the green room will really kick off something extra interesting.