How things have been since August 2024?

Ian Forrester profile

BBC restructuring isn’t anything new, there have been so many over the 20.5 years, I have been there. However, this time the changes have directly affected my role and position in R&D. BBC R&D is restructuring for many reasons which is way outside the scope of this personal post. The cuts are deep and sadly I am one of the people who was told at the start of August, that my position is at risk to close.

As you can imagine, this caused great stress and worry.

During the rest of the summer, I spoke to many friends, family, colleagues (current and previous) and of course my partner. I sought much advice to understand what I could do and make sense of my unsteady position. It was all a shock, I went through the grief cycle twice. Once at the start of August and then again when things became clear during my career consultation in November when things changed from likely to absolute.

Some of the best advice I had included, “Tell people” which I have been doing just not so publicly till now. “Sit like Buddha” don’t do anything rash and be clear-headed when making decisions.

Ian PORTRAIT at work

This week it was made official…

I’m writing to confirm that you have been selected for redundancy. This means that unless you
find alternative employment in the BBC, your employment will be terminated on the grounds of redundancy.

The decision to take compulsory redundancy is mine after a lot of thinking and looking at what I value and want to focus on in the future. I will leave the BBC R&D on good terms wishing everyone the best. I’ll work for another quarter, leaving in March but have a lot of holidays to take and have things which I want to finish.

I will no longer be the BBC R&D Senior Firestarter which is sad as I built and crafted the position. Then became well-known for it. But using a quote in full…

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

Helen Keller

Myself working in a coffee shop looking at my laptop

Over the last quarter; I stopped looking back and created a whole task list of items to manage the stress and gain some control over my future. I used it to manage, plan and focus. All while looking at where my values, talents and skills can have the most impact.

With my markdown CV in hand, I can honestly say I am open to new opportunities and considering taking forward a number of personal projects over the coming year; including the open-sourced Adaptive podcasting/music, Digital legacy/death, finishing my book, the related Ethical dating & matching rethink and some of my 2025 resolutions, while having a well-needed series of mini holidays/breaks.

There is a lot more I want to say about the unique culture created in BBC R&D, the amazing people I work/worked with, and some stories I’d like to share wider but I’ll save all that till later in 2025.

But here are a couple quotes I was reminded of over the last few months, both from Buckminster Fuller

“I’m not a genius. I’m just a tremendous bundle of experience.”

“The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it’s a different kind of life.”

I think 2025 is full of doors, which might need simply a knock.

When to take a break from online dating

Online Dating. Oh Yeah.

Northen Lass 32 spilled the beans and part of her heart out in her latest article.

A few months down the line, it hasn’t worked out with Mr Facestalk and I. Sadly it seems our paths are not aligned and our future selves wanted different stuff. Rather than crying onto my laptop, which I’ve done in the past – straight onto the trackpad, sending the mouse on an independent clicking frenzy powered by nothing but my salty misery. No, I can’t afford to replace that again. So I’ll simply turn to the wise words uttered by the oracles that are Orbital in their 1990s dance classic Satan: “It’s better to regret something you have done, than something you haven’t” How deep is that for a 90s rave tune?!

Deep enough I would say. The problem Northen Lass has besides the wicked tunes (don’t ever knock rave) is this…

Dating becomes less about getting to know one person properly, and more about dating the shit out of a 40-mile radius of your postcode, resulting in serial daters, on sites for years in a continuous state of “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT ONE?!”. It may not have been why they initially signed up, but the overwhelming urge to act like a kid in a sweetshop prevails and the paradox of choice sets in.

And just how do you choose who to date? How do you filter out those not suitable, ending up with your dream human? You know the one, the one that farts butterflies and rides a unicorn to work? With help from the website’s compatibility robot, it could be easy to discount someone you could really get on with based on some fairly superficial filtering options – and start to develop expectations of the perfect match a little outside the bounds of reality and good old chemistry.

We all go through it, start dating someone who really care for and invest heavily in. Maybe even introduce them to friends and family, you meet there friends and family. Its all looking good. Then… it all goes to pot, something happens and before you know whats hit you, its that awkward conversation about breaking up, and as I once said breaking up is hard to do.

Some think you got to jump back on the horse… I think not, grief comes in 5 stages. Each can blind you from what your trying to do. Aka find a partner who you will love and they will love you.

The moment you see the whole thing as a sweetshop, your not thinking correctly about this. Heck even if you do pick someone, you may end up picking that person for the wrong reasons. There’s been a lot said about rebounding and a lot of it is true.

Like I said the first time I saw her post

Chill and take your time, stop rushing and just let things wash over you as interesting experiences

Another reason for non-subscription online dating, but more to the point. When your ready, go for it.

I do wonder if online dating does contribute to that paradox of choice and illusion of the greener field beyond the gate. Wait didn’t I write a blog post about this? Oh yes…

On the side, I’ll be on BBC Merseyside again with Northern Lass talking about the issue of how much you share with someone your dating at what stage. This may become part of a single black male piece soon.