Dating a highly masking AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) woman

Ian and Alison together in the sun

There is something ever so unique about Alison, my loving partner. She is AuDHD (Autistic and has ADHD). Although she hasn’t had an official diagnosis, shes is on a very long list to get these (7 years for ADHD she has been told).

If you were to meet her, its unlikely you would ever know she is AuDHD because shes highly masking through life. Masking is exactly what it sounds like and its super draining. I couldn’t even really understand how draining without Alison breaking it down for me.

Recently she decided to write about this all in a public Facebook post.

My results from the Autistic test

I also took the test Autistic spectrum test Alison mentions and got these results. As you can see mine is quite different from her’s.

Ultimately I stand with her, proud to be her partner and I’m so glad she wrote the post not only to friends and family but to the public.

Alison is wonderful, creative, loving and a joy to be with. The mix of neurodiversity, life experiences, modern values and her personality means our relationship is full of mainly ups and some downs (which relationship isn’t?). I certainly didn’t expect the dopamine filled date nights!

Alison and Ian hang from the London underground ceiling above a tube train.

Neurodiversity is full of stereotypes and misunderstandings. Some of it is ignorance but some of it is deliberately offensive and I’m looking at mainstream media. The social media space has its own problems but you are getting first hand perspectives which are sometimes interesting. Something I might pick up on again in a future blog post.

Till then, have a read of Alisons post and share with others.

Continue readingDating a highly masking AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) woman

Whats really changed?

Print, The Black Experience in Graphic Design, 1968.

It was a hard read/listen but I’m glad to have read through the article which Leena suggested for me.

The Black Experience in Graphic Design: 1968 and 2020, has a number of black designers read through a hard copy article written in 1968 to see how much has changed or rather reflect on how little has changed.

As I started it was a hard read as there was a lot I recognise in my experiences as a designer in the earlier days of 2000. Like most of the designers featured, I stay hopefully too However I also listened/read the wired article – Five Years of Tech Diversity Reports—and Little Progress.

So little progressive… 

George Floyd mural in Manchester's Northern Quarter
At least george floyds mural stays in the northern quarter even today – Oct 25th 2020

Its coming up to 6 months since George Floyd was murdered by the Minneapolis police. One of the things I am planning is a look at all those pledges to make a change by companies to see if they actually did what they pledged.

Part of my work is to extract the data from this amazing presentation. Put into a form where others can add to it, likely a airtable, mutliple google sheets or github somehow? I think what the original authors did is amazing but it they limited its impact by not separating the data from the format. Not a criticism of course, but I could really help if they provided the data or sources.

If you can help or can point at places which might help a XML type person like me, do shout. If you are interested in joining what happens next, drop me a message.

Little update

I started a google sheet, after pretty much manually pulling the data out of the Google Slide. There’s lot of room for adding others. I’ll likely drop the sheet somewhere, so others can add without messing with the existing data.  I’m testing the protected cell feature in Google sheets, although I have a copy if it all goes wrong. This gives me the chance to mess with Airtable I guess?

The Future of Media with the Firestarter

Future insiders with Cathy Hackl

Future insiders with Cathy Hackl, was one of the last podcasts I did over the summer. Cathy Hackl I met a few years ago while in Belgium during Fuel 2018.

We chatted and shared many experiences including some of the diversity & inclusion in the industry. She was friendly and full of interesting thoughts about the future. I honestly warmed to her warm personality and it helped with Cathy being from a Lantio background when talking about D&I. It was also very clear Cathy was on her way upwards, her background working with the likes of Oculus, HTC Vive and Magic leap was just the start.

We stayed in touch and when I heard Cathy was setting up her own podcast I thought I need to subscribe. It wasn’t that long after Cathy got in touch and asked if I’d like to be guest on the show. Of course I agreed.

Massive thanks to Cathy for having me on as a guest, we certainly could have spoke for much longer. Hopefully this may happen much sooner than we think…?

If you are looking for the RSS feed its here.

I can’t tell you how much the firestarter title has gotten me places a producer couldn’t touch.

The important elements of Inclusion

Element of Inclusion by Dr Jonathan

There is a podcast which I have been listening to for quite some time (almost 2 years) its been going for a lot longer and its a gem to listen to. The podcast is called the element of Inclusion.

Its been a breath of fresh air in a crowded market of Diversity & Inclusion experts., partly because of the free flow of extremely useful information in podcast format.

element of inclusion
For example he’s boiled down a lot of mater and found 3 key elements (element of inclusion)

People

Organisations ind it difficult to engage with people that are currently being excluded “Employee resource groups directly engage employees that are underrepresented and excluded. These are the people at the Bottom of the pyramid who are being ignored”

Potential.

Organisations find it difficult to create a culture of inclusion “Employee resource groups can help to change the narrative of what it means to be a successful employee within an organisation and this is one of many things that helps to change the culture”

Performance.

Organisations find it difficult to articulate a compelling business case for diversity

A lot of the core information is usually buried deep in academic papers and dense books. As we are all now time poor, its amazing to have Dr Jonathan (Jonathan Ashong-Lamptey) read through the books and papers pulling out the wheat from the chaff, and then dicing it up into easily digestible form for all. Once you digested, you have direct links to the source material be it a book, review or a paper. This is so uncommon in a industry which keeps the source hidden away.

I do believe his mission of empowering 1 million people like me to make our workplaces more inclusive is a noble one; but also possible with the information Dr Jonathan keeps putting out.

Here’s some of the noticeable episodes I heard recently, although I would suggest starting with the 150th episode.

Disability The Basics [Book Review]

In this book review episode, Jonathan extracted some key parts from the book disability the basics including these 3 points.

The Disability Paradox

“There’s a perception that the lives of people with disabilities are completely undesirable, however the author said that data revealed that people with disabilities consistently report a quality of life as good as and sometimes better than people non disabled people.”

The Social Model of Disability

“some people have physical impairments, but it’s society through exclusion, through stigma, through oppression that makes people disabled”

The Thriving Disabled People’s Movement

“I was ashamed to say that I knew next to nothing about the disabled people’s movement. Described as the last liberation movement, it’s been inspired by previous movements like Civil rights”

The middle point about the social model of disability had me skipping backwards to hear it again and take it all in. Very apt for some of the neurodiverse conditions and one of those things I will always remember now.

The Relationship Between Social Isolation,Loneliness & Belonging

I hadn’t really thought about this one too much till we went into lockdown for Covid19 but Dr Jonathan really made things super clear.

Why Loneliness is Misunderstood

“It’s possible to feel lonely while among other people, and you can be alone yet not feel lonely”

The Difference between Social Isolation and Loneliness

“social isolation is not loneliness and loneliness is not social isolation.

Not everyone who is socially isolated is lonely and not everyone who is lonely is socially isolated”

Why Social Exclusion May Lead to Loneliness

“If you’re an individual that is being socially excluded, ie socially isolated against your will, we don’t need the research to recognise that that person may have an unpleasant experience”

Why Relying On A One Off Intervention Is An Inclusion Mistake

I swear by this one, and talk a lot about fireworks opposed to sustainable interventions. I also see this happen with one off training.

One Off Interventions are less likely to engage people in a meaningful way

“it’s the employees who get to see the truth, they get to see if the words and actions match up. They’re the ones you really need to buy into the narrative”

One Off Interventions are not as effective as programmes of change

“one off interventions have a smaller effect on attitudes, a smaller effect on how people feel and a smaller effect on behavioural learning compared to interventions that are part of a longer programme of change”

One Off Interventions won’t change systems of disadvantage

“It’s not always about individual behaviour, it’s about a system that reproduces existing norms and one-off interventions don’t solve that”Just these 3 are a

I always knew this to be true but Dr Jonathan armed me with some excellent case studies and data which is actionable.

Have you ever noticed the overwhelming whiteness? Yes!

Employees stand up to racism

I remember reading through Dan Lyons archived blog entries after reading Lab rats recently.

He asked the question in this entry while looking through the Business Insiders “50 Best Small Companies to Work For of 2017, According to Employees.”

The companies that end up on lists like this are often the pep-squad types who work really hard to get on lists like this. It’s free marketing. It helps them recruit. But mostly, they totally think that they’re totally awesome. They’re the best.

Presumably the photos you see above were provided by the companies themselves. Which means someone gathered up the whole gang, took a bunch of photos, chose the best one, and sent it along.

Then concludes with …

And no one ever noticed the blinding, overwhelming whiteness. Which kind of says it all.

This is old (2017) but its every day I see this all the time as I scroll through pictures of cool new startups. The 2019 version is better but its not massively different?

 

A couple of powerful talks I have heard recently

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQOm6efNVW4

Its powerful and critical advice for all by Wade Davis (Netflix VP of inclusion). With only 40 views, it deserves so much more attention.

Also while watching a bunch of new videos, I came across the incredible talk from the Festival of dangerous ideas. Alicia Garza and Stan Grant – Why Black Lives Matter

#BlackLivesMatter has become the call to action for a generation of US human rights activists to denounce the violence and prejudice still experienced by African Americans. In the wake of the violent deaths of African Americans Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner and many others call for change is insistent and consistent. So what does need to change in politics, in the media and in everyday lives to transform race relations and ensure justice and recognition for all?

Intersectionality and the real problem of diversity in silos

Audre-Lorde-single-issue-1024x387

Many companies still consider diversity policies solely in terms of dealing with separate categories of gender, ethnicity, sexuality, socio-economic class, religion or disability. However, a better awareness of how these strands overlap — a concept known as intersectionality — can improve an organisation’s understanding of its staff.

FT

I can’t tell you how many times I have expressed this problem with traditional diversity to people. Most thing they are doing a great thing focusing on diversity, and I never want to stop that. However they miss the point of true diversity…

As the FT piece points out (found via Jonathan Ashong Lamptey)

Treating people as individuals is key to improving this perception, she says. Taking an intersectional view means recognising individuals can have multiple identities that overlap, for example an Asian LGBT woman or a white disabled man.

Looking at the law, the example which I would use to demonstrate the importance of intersectionality is Baylis-Flannery v. DeWilde.

In the case of the complainant, who alleged discrimination by her employer on the basis of sex and race, the Tribunal found that the discrimination she experienced was intersectional, and observed:

While the findings of discrimination made in this case are of sufficient gravity that Ms Baylis-Flannery could succeed on either enumerated ground of race or sex, or on both grounds, one set following the other, the law must acknowledge that she is not a woman who happens to be Black, or a Black person who happens to be female, but a Black woman. The danger in adopting a single ground approach to the analysis of this case is that it could be characterized as a sexual harassment matter that involved a Black complainant, thus negating the importance of the racial discrimination that she suffered as a Black woman. In terms of the impact on her psyche, the whole is more than the sum of the parts: the impact of these highly discriminatory acts on her personhood is serious. (2003 HRTO 28, para 145)

But as Jonathan points out lets look beyond legal discrimination, as its easy to see the problem. He uses a good example of himself to show how in certain contexts he has advantages and disadvantages.

…he says: “Being a 6ft 2 man has its advantages in the workplace but being black has disadvantages, at different times and different places.”

This also gets more tricky once you have a number of people who share similar categories. My example I always use is if you have a large number of white women from a middle class background, how does this effect the inclusion or culture of the business for other non-white or working class women? Outside the workplace I have no issue with women in tech initiatives, but I really do like what Sarah Lamb did with the Girl Geekdinners, which felt a lot more inclusive due to the 50% invited rule.

Its complex but thats the point, diversity and inclusion isn’t a thing you can throw magic dust/money at. Likewise training is good but its not something you think about away from base then come back and forget.

The way to build empathy, foster inclusiveness and create trust in the workplace, according to Mr Ashong Lamptey, is to discuss difficult topics in employee groups or staff networks that share a common identity. “Instead of guessing, ask the people who are having those experiences,” he says.

“Organisations should make this part of a long-term strategy,” Mr Ashong Lamptey says.

I have to say I especially like the idea of the reverse mentoring whereby managers are mentored by a minority staff member.

If only we could take a number of these practices and group them into something we could test and write up the studies of?

IBM DIF project removes my flickr urls


Hopefully the final follow up from my post about facial recognitions dirty little secret millions of online photos scraped without consent. and the update.

Thank you for your prompt response. We confirm that we have deleted from the DiF dataset all the URLs linked to your Flickr ID and associated annotations. We have also deleted your Flickr ID from our records. IBM will require our research partners to comply with your deletion request and provide IBM with confirmation of compliance.

Best regards,

IBM Research DiF team

End of the matter, although part of me wants to contact everybody in the photos and tell them what happened. Not sure what that would achieve however?

Reply from IBM about my online photos scraped without consent

Diversity in Faces(DiF)

Following my post about facial recognitions dirty little secret millions of online photos scraped without consent. I got a reply from Flickr and IBM’s Diversity in Faces project.
First Flickr’s automated email…

Hi ian,

Thanks for reaching out to us!

We’ve received your message and will be responding as quickly as possible. In the meantime, do visit the Flickr Help Forum and our Help Center as the answer to your question may be found there.

We look forward to connecting and will be in touch soon.

Cheerfully,
The Flickr Team

Already Pro? Then expect a response shortly, because you are already in our VIP queue! (Make sure to write to us using the email address on your Pro account.)

Dear Ian,
Thank you for your email.
The Diversity in Faces (DiF) project, referenced in your request below, is a non-commercial, research initiative. The DiF dataset includes a list of URLs (but not the images themselves), linking to publicly available images on Flickr under certain creative commons licenses, along with associated annotations. We have taken great care to ensure that the DiF dataset does not include Flickr IDs or any other Flickr identifiers of individuals.
In order to respond to your request, we will need to locate the URLs in the DiF dataset that are linked to your Flickr ID (if any). To do this, we will need your Flickr ID, along with your express consent to use it for the sole purpose of locating such URLs and responding to your request.  Separately, if you would like us to, we can remove any URLs of images linked to your Flickr ID from the DiF dataset.  Please confirm this by reply.
After conducting our search, we will delete your Flickr ID from our records, and if you so request, we will also remove any URLs and associated annotations from the DiF dataset connected to your Flickr ID. We will confirm when this process has been completed.
With respect to your request to access your personal data processed by IBM outside the DiF project, you will be contacted separately by the IBM Data Subject Rights Operations Team (Email at ibm.com) to proceed with your request.
Let us know if you have any questions or how we can further assist you with your request.
IBM Research DiF Team

The race pay gap deserves the same attention as the gender pay gap

I wanted to annotate the original Pearn Kandola article with some links…

In 2018, the gender pay gap took up a lot of column inches. Whether it be large businesses having to publicly declare their pay discrepancies, or well-known figures like Jodie Whittaker confirming that she’ll receive the same pay for her role as Doctor Who as her male predecessors, the pressure has been rising and change seems to have begun.

But gender is not the only cause of pay discrepancy; there’s another pay gap just as damaging that hasn’t received anywhere near as much media attention

There’s a long history of BAME (black, Asian and minority ethnic) people being paid less than their white colleagues. Analyses of pay by race have been carried out in many countries, and the similarity of the results is striking. Generally speaking, in every walk of life, in every craft and profession, minorities are consistently paid less than white people.

In November 2017, the BBC found itself at the centre of a significant gender pay gap scandal. Whilst its race pay gap was just as, if not more, prevalent, far less attention was given to it. The average white male earned:

  • four and a half times more than the highest earning white female
  • seven and a half times more than the highest paid minority male
  • nine times more than the highest paid minority female

The BBC is by no means a lone example, though. Independent Television News (ITN) IN 2018 revealed mean ethnicity pay gap of 16% which rose to 66% for bonus payments

The lack of attention given to the race pay gap is highlighted when one looks at organisations’ responses to dealing with it. Global professional services firm, PwC, also revealed a pay gap of 13% between its BAME and white staff. This gap is almost as substantial as the firm’s gender pay gap of 14%.

Its sad and sobering to read and hear. Why it wasn’t picked up by the mainstream press is a whole different question. Like I seen elsewhere, its much easier to focus on diversity in the form of binary male & female. But the honest truth is diversity is never that binary.

Reporting and transparency around the BAME pay gap is the best way to making this all viable.

The pay gap is a symptom of a wider culture in which black and ethnic minority workers are undervalued and underpromoted.