6 Words to describe different types of Love

Macchiato love

I had always thought and stood by the idea that love is wider than the romantic love we are sold growing up in a western society. It wasn’t till I went to Laura Gordon‘s Dream Builders #4: Love Actually event, that I learned about the 6 words the greek use to describe love.

From what people at the event were saying,  it was bounded around on twitter on valentine day but I guess I was too busy at TedxManchester to see it.

So the 6 words are…

  • Eros, or sexual passion
  • Philia, or deep friendship
  • Ludus, or playful love
  • Agape, or love for everyone
  • Pragma, or long-standing love
  • Philautia, or love of the self

There was discussion about the need for all 6 in different ways and of course how we are sold the idea that love is Eros; especially in western society. I had never really heard the terms and it reflects on my own thoughts and what certain people say to me about my own love life.

People have commented that maybe the reason why I don’t need/can afford to be so picky, is because I  fill my time with the company of other friends. For some reason the percentage of female friends is higher than most men I know too. Don’t ask me why, but I have thoughts (for another blog post maybe)

This isn’t that blog post but in reflection on the 6 types of love, theres a whole lot of Philia and Agape in my life. This is also why I don’t necessarily feel like I’m missing something in my life.

Treasure those conversations with friends

I’m carving out something unique by spreading some love around by sharing my reality with friends and family, you only have to look at the amount of parties, BBQs, etc I do and have done. My hope is I’ll share it with someone who understands and loves the way I view the  world.

 

Growing worries about our tech driven culture from Aziz

Friendly Conversation

You can add Aziz Ansari to the growing list of people reconsidering the effects of our technology on our culture. He joins Sherry Turkle and Andrew Keen with his latest book…

Modern Romance, an interesting book full of interesting research about how people meet, and mate, in the modern world.

First heard about on the Freakonomics podcast

I’ll be checking it out soon… as it looks like a good one.

…The rest of the book deals with online dating, dumping, sexting, cheating and snooping on your partner, all of which have been made easier by the rise of the smartphone and the private world we create behind its screen. This is territory already explored by theorists such as Danah Boyd and Sherry Turkle and OKCupid co-founder Christian Rudder, but Ansari helpfully masticates their findings down for a general audience. He is neither a tech evangelist nor a luddite: the gadgets might be constantly updating, but human nature is slower to change.

Single Black Male, we need new writers!

Single Black Male | Urban Male Perspective

I just saw SingleBlackMale.org is looking for new writers

We Need New Writers! Do You Want to Be One of Them?

http://www.singleblackmale.org/2013/06/11/we-need-new-writers-do-you-want-to-be-one-of-them/

My instant thought is yes I would love to be one… SBM for me is sometimes a little sanity in the mix of love and dating. Some posts are bang on and I’m almost shouting in the tram to work “YES!” and sometimes I’m shaking my head knowing whats been written is total fluff. One of my friends total me to give it a rest but to be fair its my equivalent of britons got talent.

I know lots of people seems to have a slight problem with it being called single Black male. Why isn’t there a single White male or a single Asian Female? I don’t know why not start one? They are not against diversity as they say… But I have to say single black men do have a unique viewpoint on the world of dating, love and sex. Maybe one which doesn’t get heard too much? I won’t lie when my cousins and urban (if thats the right word) friends get together all hell can break loose. Its fun and somethings which are said are seriously wrong but in the clear light of day things pass under the bridge and are forgotten.

And can I just quickly say how great it would be to have a Black British point of view on things…! Geez, one thing SBM can certainly be accused of is its very American bias. Time to take it international…

I wrote about the Black Barbarshop’s a long while ago and there is something unique about them. Yes I’m sure we can replace black with urban now but seriously spend some time in one and hear the urban black male perspective. Sometimes offensive, sometimes full of sense. But always intriguing and full of questions. And I got to say thats very much me…

Heck I don’t even care about the money, actually that makes it easier for me to write and keep my great job.

So here’s my public pitch…

  • Name: Ian Forrester
  • Website (Required. No website. No write.) : The one your reading now, cubicgarden.com
  • Post Titles:
    1. Who pays on the first date?
    2. Your the only single one left
    3. The worst photos anyone could use in there profile picture
    4. Speed dating vs Internet dating
    5. The modern man and feminism
    6. The rights and wrongs of datasexuality
    7. … do have to go on?
  • Post Summary (What the article is about…preferably in bullet point form)

    1. The ultimate question on a first date, who pays on the first date?
    2. Everyone around you is married and has children, what do you do?
    3. What is the worst photos you can pick to upload for your dating profile, and how to avoid them?
    4. Which one wins for which people?
    5. Feminism and sexuality, is it about time we all grew up and got with the modern programme?
    6. How is it living your love life by the numbers? How far can you go? Does it actually get you anywhere fast?
    7. … stopping right there
  • Time needed to complete full article if accepted : Well with the grammar, spelling, workload and all, maybe a week or two?
  • Whether you’re looking to write regularly or just once. Either is fine. : A number of times, maybe like once every 2 months? (heck I get pretty busy)

Although to be fair as Janetedavis says

Really? You’re sure about that? Haven’t you got enough to do?

Yeah maybe I should focus on The Life and Opinions of a Datasexual Gentleman (working title)… Lets see what SBM says?