Are you actually monogamish?

There’s a flaw in the way we choose our life partners. We pair up based (mostly) on preferences outside of the bedroom, and hope that what happens in the bedroom will match up. Infidelity is not the end of the world, it’s a reality of long-term relationships. We accept the good and the bad when it comes to our partner’s jobs, families, and failures, but quickly default to divorce when we yield to natural temptation.It’s time to stop fooling ourselves and accept that outdated concepts of “proper” sex are torpedoing discussions needed to reach mature sexual compromises. Many of the relationships that we think of as monogamous are actually probably ‘monogomish’: mostly monogamous, but with bits on the side. If we really want to protect the sanctity of marriage, we need to make it our playground, not our prison.

From Dan Savage… also  in Urban Dictionary
A relationship that is mostly monogamous but occasionally exceptions are made for sexual play.
My boyfriend and I are monogamish, so it’s cool if you want to make out with me

Not much different from what was talked about at the event I went to in Manchester. The argument then was pretty much the same from Rosie Wilby, as she also wrote about.

Its a enlighten way of looking at relationships, certainly don’t think society can yet grapple with this as of yet. Which is not an excuse…

Author: Ianforrester

Senior firestarter at BBC R&D, emergent technology expert and serial social geek event organiser. Can be found at, and

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