The view of Okcupid from my mother

Date

Spent some lovely time with my parents and godchildren over the Easter holidays. On the Sunday night me and my mum was sitting down after our lovely cream tea for supper. I was showing mum some stuff and somehow got on to the subject of online dating. As you can imagine to my parents the whole thing is a little removed from reality but anyway, I decided to show her the kind of people who use it, mainly to point out there not all fruitcakes.

In Okcupid there’s a mode which is best described as hot or not. Instead you choose a rating from 0 to 5 stars. It was a quick way to show a flavour of woman without getting too bogged down in the details. As flicked through I asked my mother what she thought of the woman’s photos.

It was fascinating hearing my mothers view on the woman’s photos and glimpse of personality in what they wrote.

Generally my mum would look at the photos, if she liked what she saw, she would start reading the profile. Nothing new there I hear you say. But it was the woman who she choose to read more about which interested me. If I could generalise, I would say it was somewhere right in the middle. She liked to see the whole face in one photo and the whole person in the next one. She was not impressed by woman drinking beer and low light photos full stop. She was also not a fan of photos showing lots of cleavage or flirty photos. For example a picture of a woman on the floor with her legs open facing away from the camera in stockings received absolute scorn. Of course it was playful and didn’t show anything but it didn’t matter… Scorn and burn!

She didn’t seem to like single photos either, specially if they were trying to act cute. She also didn’t like the look of the boyish looking woman, think my mum likes woman to look like woman. She also needed more that one photo to make a good decision, which makes sense. With the profiles she read, she glossed over interests like films, etc. But liked it when the woman talked about cooking or food. Even a few who talked about baking cakes.

Looking back through the marks I trying to tally them against my own personality, its very much a napkin/tomboy notes calculation… Here’s what I’d say my mum looks for me…

  • Someone more introverted
  • Someone easy going
  • Someone more independent
  • Someone more conventionally moral (religious maybe?)
  • Someone less progressive
  • Someone less kinky
  • Someone less adventurous
  • Someone less romantic?

Thats done by looking at all the woman my mum ticked high and averaging the scores. Its far from scientific with only 8 woman my mum rated as very suitable for myself. I would say the woman were generally younger looking and in age. Bear in mind I only showed woman within my filter of 26-38 and less than 50miles away. Anyway… Once I get them the Chromebook, I’ll have to seek more matching advice from my mum as it was fun and interesting at the same time.

More interesting is what we decided on with some twitter help…

Author: Ianforrester

Senior firestarter at BBC R&D, emergent technology expert and serial social geek event organiser.