Tag: toilet

Cash still rules everything around me

Cascais in Feb

Every once in a while I’m reminded I should carry some cash.

Recently I was in Lisbon, and as usually used my card for everything. However we decided to head to the beach of Cascais, as it was going to be warm (20c in Feb isn’t bad).

Of course after a while on the beach with the Diabolo and my partner, a toilet break is needed. So going for a walk around Cascais to spot a toilet in a shop, I saw a nice restaurant called Pistachio Bar. I knew I was missing a good Portuguese coffee, so I thought I’d buy a swifty espresso and make the excuse to use the toilet at the same time.

They started to make the espresso and I went to pay for the espresso with my card. But they didn’t accept card payments under 5 euros. The manager came over and they talked about the payment, I thought about other things I could do including turning it into a Americano/long black, etc all while needing the toilet still. In the end the manager turned to me and said just take it for free.

This would be great, although I couldn’t do it, especially since I still needed the toilet. There was no way I could take the espresso and then use the toilet for free. So I looked around and noticed a full bar, and offered to buy two shots for the manager and staff member. Manager said no way because they are working, however I thought some shots for me and my partner could work nicely.

I forgot shots in Lisbon is equivalent to about 2.5 shots in the UK. After finally paying and finally going to the toilet, I walked back to the beach with a espresso and two more espresso sized take out cups filled with dark rum. But happy with the positive story and a reminder I should have some cash!

On the way back I had a similar story after getting on the train back to Lisbon and realising there was no toilets on the trains. There was time to go in the station but once again there was no option for cards, so I did that turnstile hack. A angry Portuguese woman came into the male toilets and shouted at me over and over again. I tried to explain but I was kind of busy. Afterwards I offered an explanation and showed I had a legit travel card but it wasn’t enough. Conscious I needed to get the train and my partner was waiting for me, I just had to apologise again and again as I ran to the gate for my train.

As I did, I was reminded of the Wu-Tang-Clan’s Cream. Cash rules everything around me…

The toxic masculinity experience

Macho is bullsh*t

On Saturday something happened which irked me.

Unisex toilets have become common with cubicles for each person. They sometimes have a shared hand wash area. It makes a lot of sense, I mean how many times have we seen the queue for the female toilets, while the male toilet line is non-exist. For the trans people it cuts right through all the toilet nonsense you hear in the fear mongering parts of the media.

The cafe was closing and I popped into the toilet before going home through the pouring Manchester rain. I put my mask on, walked to the toilet and opened the door which contains the hand wash area, baby changing and 2 cubicles. As I open the door and walk through. I’m facing 4 white men and one of them has their (I’ll be blunt) dick out and the rest are fooling around, laughing. I was not impressed at all!

The only thing you respect is stupidy

I’m shocked but also very annoyed because I’m thinking what if a young person had come through the door instead of me? Heck what if any one had come into the toilet expecting to go to the bloody toilet?!

They all laugh and the one with his private parts out, jiggles around like a flipping idiot. They say something I can only describe as laddish nonsense but I had my headphones on with my mask (so they can’t see how angry I was and likewise I couldn’t hear them well).

They parted as I look at the far open door cubicle, half expecting me to play along with their disgusting stupidity . The cubicle I head towards has the door open but with another one of the men peeing on the toilet seat which is down. I hear the others laugh saying something about I might want the other one as he’s busy trying to aim for the toilet.

So I disappear in the other cubicle, lock the door behind me and use it like a decent respectful person. But during my time in there I was even more angry about everything which just happened. When I came out, the men had left the hand washing area and were sitting by the cafe exit.

As I left they said something along the lines of its funny eh? I just shook my head with my headphones on. Kind of a shame on you all, shake of the head. They were not impressed and kidded around with each other. I left thinking what a bunch of (literally) dicks.

Your whole way of life is bullsh*t

On the walk home, I thought about what I really wanted to say and maybe I should have done more. In the end I got about 5mins into my journey home and turned back to tell the cafe what happened, knowing they would likely be long gone, I was right.

I told the serving staff and they were pretty shocked but said they were getting a bad feeling about them when they complained about why everything was gluten free. One of the staff made a good point that once the door to the toilet space is opened can be seen by anyone sitting eating their brunch not even going to the toilet. We were agreement, if they ever (not like they will) enter again, they will be told to leave. There was a suggestion to look through the CCTV, but unsure if they went ahead and did that after I left. Part of me thinks this could be important as it is a crime and maybe I should have reported it to the police?

The whole thing really annoyed me but I think I handled it the best I could. The easier thing would be to lash out (I really wanted to kick them in a certain place) or worst still  play along. But I made it very clear they were out of order without getting into a dispute. Maybe I could have done more but not sure what else?

That macho enough for you?

Its been a long time since I faced such blatant toxic masculinity. I am very aware this isn’t news for a lot of women who experience flashing and worst.

I’m interested what others would have done in my position?

You might wonder why the pictures of one eight seven? When ever I think about Toxic Masculinity, I always remember how great the film is at uncovering the macho nonsense.