Top dating tips from myself

cup face

During Future Everything I took part on Chattr. My instant thought was to share some gems I’d learned from dating.

But after reading Trueview’s blog I started thinking heck I could easily share some pearls without upsetting anyone.

Now I have to point out that I am still single and therefore this means all my tips obviously have not worked. There also more for fun that anything and shouldn’t be taken seriously… I’m also sorry to say a lot of the recommendations Katerina made on the trueview blog.

  1. Email and Chat first
    There is a stereotype that most people chat too much online and actually getting to meet face to face is a novelty. I know where it come from a little but there is no harm in finding out what kind of person your interested in. Email is good and chat is even more interesting as you can get a sense of quick wit and canned answers.
  2. For the first date go for a coffee shop or quiet bar
    Tea, coffee, wine or even cocktails. But don’t get drunk! The first date is about getting to know the other person and to find out if your interested enough to go on another date. Try to go somewhere quiet and not busy. Ideally if you can find somewhere which also does food then that’s useful for natural progression (more on this soon)
  3. Don’t go on a dinner date!
    Dinner dates can be super painful… Everything from who pays on the first date, to being bored senseless or hangout with a homophobic nutter is up for grabs. For goodness sake if its the first date keep it real, however if the date progresses that way, then fine go for it. Some of my best dates have been following a coffee/tea date which has transformed into a dinner date.
  4. Don’t over do it but don’t under play it
    “be yourself” yes but do at least try… Be honest and functional, first impressions do make a difference I can’t lie (anyone who says it doesn’t is telling fibs and can not be trusted 🙂
  5. Bring money or credit
    Don’t you dare turn up with no money expecting the other person to pay even if you will pay them back next time. Who says there will be another date. If you did that to me, there wouldn’t be another chance.
  6. Use public transport and meet somewhere near public transport
    Nothing worst that going somewhere well off track and then missing the last train home to find yourself stuck in Leeds train station at 02:30. Public transport gets around the whole, “shall I drop you off?” Drinking while driving and puts a natural end to date.
  7. Always have a backup plan
    Yes thought the place was open, you didn’t know shes allergic to caffiene or is vegan. Go somewhere with a couple of credible choices. The biggest screw-ups have been when I’ve gone somewhere I don’t know and didn’t have a backup.
  8. Don’t lie and try not to be rude
    If something you don’t like comes up, let it slide and remember you don’t have to see this person again, ever. Likewise don’t lie, you want the person to make a good estimate about you and your personality. Hard to do that if your covering up your true personality.

Next time I’ll have to do my good places for dates…

Could you be Mr #52, help C_T_S find her perfect match

@C_T_S

This lady seeks a man not scared of an modern independent woman who knows what she wants and has a quirky sense of humor. Someone who uses the right words at the right times but can open her eyes to new words such as, antidisestablishmentarianism. Not too tall, but not a pint pot either. Someone who can talk about new interesting things and is never stuck for words. Someone to renew her faith in human kind.

Would you date this lady? If so you should read her blog post now

When Kate first showed me C_T_S’s 52 first dates, I had wished I had done something similar when I was really going for it on the dating front. Man some of those stories and the details!

Here’s the deal. I’ve been single since time immemorial. So, in an attempt to remedy my eternal singledom, and to get over my nauseatingly pathological fear of dates, I’ve decided to challenge myself. The challenge? To go on one first date a week for a year! So in 52 weeks time, I will have either found my Mr Right, or I’ll stay forever Miss Write. This is what happens…

She is now almost at the end of her year of first dates, just mr number 52 to go… But this time shes changing it up…

So, dearly beloved readers of 52 First Dates, this is where you come in. I put it to you that since you probably all know me better than myself by now, having endured every buttock-clenchingly cringe-worthy moment of the last 51 weeks of my life, that you help to find Mr #52 for me. You may know the perfect person to tick this elusive box, or even fancy yourself for this coveted slash much-afeared position. Well now’s the time to play Cupid and get that little bow and arrow of yours out (but perhaps leave the nappy at home). You’ve been on these dates with me (virtually), you know the sorts of things and people I like and don’t like, I’m obviously making a total balls-up of finding a boyfriend myself so perhaps you can do a better job.
Perhaps.
All you need to do is get your proposed Mr #52 (or in fact yourself if you fancy being the boy to break 52 First Dates) to email me with some information about themselves / yourself and a photograph, and hopefully some light-hearted correspondence will ensue (although I must add by means of a casual disclaimer that this isn’t guaranteed, not because I’m rude or anything like that, I’m always happy to email, but I’m just a bit shit at times, especially when I’m in the middle of moving house).

Now I know some of you are saying, Ian why don’t you put yourself forward?

I thought about it but to be honest I don’t think we would hit it off, which would be a shame for number 52… Although I’m really fascinated in meeting her one day, as its taken a lot of guts to put herself out there like that. Shes also supplied me with plenty of great information for future thinking digital talk or a standup routine (if she allows me to use her stories of course).
@C_T_S guessing its Claire something… was kind enough to finally put up part of a dating profile. Interestingly you can learn a hell of a lot more about C_T_S from her witty writings across the 52 first dates blog (which is also something I need to blog in regards to my dating idea). Just going off her profile and Tom Morris should listen up as her profile could certainly do with someone like him looking at it.
Age: 31
31 is good age and fits into what I’m looking for.
Profession: Edit producer formerly in television, now for a charity.

Ok TV 🙁 however its good to see the change, and says to me shes not all about money or fame.

Random factoid: Used to be a falconer
Difficult one because it says use to be, but still says to me she quite likes nature, while I’m not a big fan
Likes: knitting, baking, chutney-making, playing the piano, cake, teaching her parrots pointless things, writing in the third person, Tim Minchin, weird films, dark comedy, gigs, blowing raspberries, a wide range of cheeses, cats, Elf, sarcasm, writing, secret London pubs, feathers, loud guitars and louder drums, regional accents, festivals, crispy smoked bacon, Hackney, taxidermy, Eddie Izzard, my nephew, a good book, riding around on the top deck of the bus, cricket, the correct use of grammar, the Overground, lie ins, Charlie Brooker, overripe bananas, being independent, the ukulele, long words, antidisestablishmentarianism.
Dislikes: lateness, bad grammar, stubbing my toe, cucumber, the word ‘moist’, arrogance, spiders, Keane, being disappointed in the human race, the Daily Express, laziness, low-fat spreads, money-lovers, seafood sticks, noisy eaters, unripe bananas, football hooligans, Marley and Me, people who chew gum with their mouths open, the tube.
So I’ll be honest and say this is what I think… Shes very much about doing stuff which is crafty and nature like. Tim Minchin kind of humour is cool but I’m not a fan of his musical style. This is further confounded by the mention of Elf and blowing raspberries (hummm… slapstick humour, certainly not for me). Although Eddie Izzard and Charlie brooker certainly swing it back round again. I think ultimately our sense of humour will work but also clash in someways.
Secret London pubs, Loud Guitars, Festivals and the ukulele certainly strike me as a recipe for trouble. I’m all about finding lovely cocktails bars, house music and the art of djing and making electronic music.
She also makes a couple of references to being very choosy with language, can’t imagine shes tolerant of someone who dyslexic and to be honest I can’t be bothered with someone who clings to the rules of language like a stone tablet 🙂 However her dislike of being disappointed in the human race is interesting and I somewhat share.
Would like to meet: Someone fun, funny, possible funny-looking but ideally not funny-smelling. Own teeth and hair essential (or at least acceptable substitutes toupees notwithstanding). Someone who likes to ponder the pointless as well as the poignant. Someone who can make me laugh. Someone who will hopefully not make me cry (unless it’s through laughter, see previous point). Artists, musicians, creative types especially welcome
Most of this is most guys I know, so its easy to say yes I tick all the boxes. I would say she needs to be a little more direct about what she wants like no mention of age range, no shame in saying I prefer guys who look generally smart. Interesting shes happy with a creative person but is such a grammar geek, specially when dyslexia is very common in the creative sectors.
I know most of you are saying geez, your really picking at the smallest things but if I had time and wanted to really get into it, I could quote parts of C_T_S own blog posts which match my points.
End of the day, I’m not the guy for C_T_S and shes not the woman for me. No problem, theres plenty more fish in the sea…
Good luck C_T_S and really hope someone sees this and thinks maybe she could be a real good match for them. I’m kind of hoping for a romantic ending to this which is wrong, but it would be amazing if it just happened that way… Faith in human kind and all that!