Tag: psychology

The science..? of speed dating?

Timing gears

Mr 30 not so flirty shared his experiences of a event called datelab. Something I’ve never heard of but it sounds interesting

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Like Mr 30, I have also been involved in a few science + dating events. I have done speed dating at MOSI (the science museum Manchester), also took part in BBC’s Horizon dating experiment, even took part in a few other things including that horrible year of making love and more to come soon (if you can’t guess I won’t tell). But unlike Mr 30, I have a real wonder if there really is science? Is the matching and chemisty actually unquantifable?

I find the intentional and unintentional effects fancinating as we try and grapple with the limits of our understanding of ourselves and each other. Throw that into the melting pot with sexuality, identity and diversity all as spectrums not absolutes and you got a unquantifable mess. I find it fun to watch people try and untangle it all.

Anyway I also found one of the things datelab did fancinating for reasons above and from a progressive point of view.

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Another one I quite liked was the thinking behind getting both ladies and gents being asked to move…. apparently when you sit, you become pickier. I have experienced this with Netflix. For the ladies at most speed dating events, it becomes a real-life twist on Tinder, a conveyor belt of gents (and not so gents)… I’m quite looking forward to the dating company that does a parody real-life version on Tinder.

I can totally understand the effect Mr30 is talking about (that effect I’m sure is part of the paradox of choice; with people feeling much more picky about their choices). But I have always wondered why its the men who have to move in speed dating? This certainly isn’t the case in gay speed dating, I’ve been told. I asked a few times the host of a speed dating event I have gone to a few times. He said its a bit of legacy but also practicaily.

The legacy of course being women are waiting for the suiter to step forward, can’t possibily have women making the first move (don’t get me started!) But also practially, asking women to move around in the short amount of change around time will take longer? (i’m not sure but this feels sexist to me, but its his event and I do find women do put more effort into their clothes).

One of the things which I did find interesting in the MOSI dating experiement was that everybody moved table, but frankly it take a long time due to the massive shifting around. Maybe theres a system where women move one way and men the other? Matt suggested using some kind of gear rotation like system, which had me looking it up in Berlin Tegel Airport while waiting for the plane. Theres a BBC bitesize thing for this. Hows that for science eh?!

I’ll suggest this to the host and see what he thinks…

Gatecrashing a party with confidence

Tim Dobson is on a roll recently, another recommendation sparks a quick blog post.

Not sure what the programme is but its fascinating to see the gatecrasher techniques being used on camera. This also plays on the ability for most people not wanting to see conflict. If you can push through the imposer syndrome somethingwhich was talked about at the recent BraCamp by Technancy. Gain some confidence I can certainly see it working.

The lack of conflict can lead to situations like compliance (which is a true story), I wonder how much further he could have gone with the gatecrash? Maybe order more drink, order more food, leave without paying? Who knows? Dare I say, its worth looking at The Psychology of Being Scammed.

Ok! The dark side left alone, this reminds me of the fun challenges Celeb and 40days does. I saw him at TedXManchester3 and thoughts about pushing yourself outside your comfort zone was fascinating.

Tim asked if I could do this?

I would give it a go, but to be fair I can’t imagine i’d get far because I don’t quite have the tolerance for ignoring things. The lady not buying anything would have me walking away, heck I would have bailed and said “oh my goodness wrong table, sorry guys…” with a cheeky grin of course… Although I have gatecrashed parties and leaving do’s before.

Interestingly Alan told me at BraCamp, the timeline of how the BBC CodeClub hoax got going and how Raspberry Jam and Hack to the Future grew and grew. It started by gatecrashing a leaving party for George Auckland in MMU.

It goes to show… gatecrash but do it for good!