Cocktails to never order, if you can help it

espresso martini with style

I saw this in my feed, 5 Cocktails Bartenders Say They Would Never Order. I had a read and thought I’d add my spin to the list.

Bartenders avoid ordering certain drinks for a number of reasons, be it out of respect for busy staff caught in the middle of a rush or fear of being judged for wanting to drink something that might seem basic or uncool, among other reasons. Of course, many bartenders strive to offer a judgment-free environment to guests both inside and outside of the industry, but drink-shaming still happens, and self-consciousness can get the best of all of us once in a while. Regardless of the rationale, there are a select few cocktails that seasoned bar professionals unanimously steer clear of ordering

Generally the list in the article is…

  1. Ice cocktails
  2. Dirty vodka martini
  3. Anything with an offensive name
  4. Long Island Iced Tea
  5. Ramos Gin Fizz

I am very much in agreement about most of these. When I was behind the bar, I hated making Long Islands or Porn Star martini’s. So when ever I hear seeing them someone order one I can’t help but cringe. Especially the Long Island Ice Tea.

Long Island Ice Tea Jar

Of the many bartenders that Best Life interviewed about the topic of drinks they’d never order, a large number responded with one of history’s most notoriously boozy classics, the Long Island Iced Tea. It’s certainly possible to make a drinkable (and even good) Long Island Iced Tea riff—the traditional includes vodka, tequila, light rum, triple sec, gin, and a splash of cola—but you’d be hard-pressed to find a bartender who would voluntarily order one unless that were the case.

“It’s just a dumb drink that tastes pretty much only like cola, sour mix, and raw booze. It is somehow less than the sum of its parts,” says Dan Adams, a bartender in Florida. Fellow industry pro Cillian Wintula agrees: “I’ll never order a Long Island because there are so [many] tastier ways to get drunk.”

I agree, lots will disagree but sorry anything with vodka, dry gin, tequila and rum is just a total mess. Might as well add some Sambuca for added headache effect? Of all the cocktails, I never understood that one. I also found when left alone for a long while for it to taste very weird depending on how much cola you actually add.

Sour cocktails are great now you can get pre-made egg white. I remember having to make the sours with fresh eggs and thinking, this is a real pain in the backside, as I tried to separate the egg white from the egg yoke in the back of a busy bar. I always thought that place was full of it.

Old fashioned are great (one of my favorite) but I always ask if its a good time to make one in a busy bar. Nothing worst than making one while people scream at you that they just want a beer. Pick your moment.

Bartender

Remember the more of a pain in the backside your cocktail the less love the bartender will spend on it. This also goes for your attitude. Respect and a nice smile goes a long way.

Manchester’s first Cocktail Festival

cocktail hour

For seven days in August, Manchester is throwing its first ever cocktail festival.

Now, we’re a city who enjoys a good slurp on a classic concoction, but even we didn’t see a dedicated festival committed to this refined drinking trend coming.

From August 8-14, Manchester Loves Cocktails (yes, yes it does) will bring together more than 20 fine drinking establishments from right across the city for a full week of unique cocktails and more than 40 special booze-themed events.

Why? Because as the founder of Manchester Loves Cocktails Nick Fox says: “The standard of cocktails in Manchester are now on par with top bars of London and New York.” That’s why.

Best of all is the cocktail price tag – each one setting you back a handsome £4.50 with your festival wristband.

Some questions…

Whats taken so long, where do I sign up and whos with me?

Should have gone dutch when I bounced

November 28th

I’m cursing myself for falling for the stupid mistake of paying for the bill in one of my previous dates in the last few months.

My mistake was paying for the bill in total, something which I don’t usually do.

So what happened?

Well we were having a good time, chatting away and I suggested how about having some food? (because we were in a place where we could switch from drinks to food without moving) she agreed, time had flown by and she was also hungry.

After eating and deciding yes its about time we actually went home, we asked for the bill. Bill comes and I can’t remember exactly what happened but I’m pretty sure I said “Hey no worries I got this one…”

Of course I never really heard from her again. Except shes actually a friend of friends (trying not to give away who it was)

Anyhow months later we bump into each other and I ask her what happened?

The crux seemed to be she wasn’t comfortable with being paid for… Something I can relate to, and something which I usually go out of my way to avoid. What had happened is I thought I’d try paying and seeing what happens, maybe things will turn out different if I listened to thoughts of Ngunan Adamu and others over time.

Well I was right! Her original thoughts of a modern gentleman, was dashed when I picked up the whole bill. And the only person to blame is myself… Yes it was a bit of an experiment on my part but it felt weird for me and I assume felt even weirder for her. Its a shame because although not my usual type of woman, I was certainly interested and would have liked to have gone on a second date…

Moral of this little tale… Should have gone Dutch…!

Redbull + Tabasco + Vodka = A Hotbull?

Red Bull grants wings

I have a drink which I love a little too much when going out and drinking. Redbull is simply wrong but ever so right. We all know its bad for the human body but its so refreshing and enjoyable on a hot day. How most people enjoy a good beer is how I enjoy a redbull. Not too much, but I have been known to drink too much in one night.

Anyway as I started going to better clubs, I came across a drink called a TVR, yep Tequila, Vodka and Redbull. Drinking this will cause terriable headaches because it goes down pretty smoothly and contains the evil evil Tequila (yes I bet you all had flashbacks of that crazy night when you were dancing on a table holding a Tequila bottle or glass! We've all done it except of course moi).

Anyway, somewhere along my past, I decided to put Tabasco sauce in drinks with redbull to bring down the sweetness and slow down my drinking (when I was raving it wasn't unhear of for me to drink 8+ cans of redbull a night). This developed and I found removing the Vodka too also was good. So what I'm saying is – yes I made this lovely cocktail. Its a drink you either love or really hate. Out of a group of 6 guys in Edinburgh (yes I'm writing that Edinburgh post very soon) only one turned around and said he quite liked it. My BBC friends hated my drink too. I've had a few Barpeople look at me very strange when asking for the Tabasco and those willing to try have admitted its not that bad.

I put claim to creating this cocktail described, vodka and lime is optional but ask for it at the bar next time your out and see what you think. Oh my god, imagine redbull and Tabasco as shots instead of a drink. What do you say to that then Any

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