Cubicgarden.com...

Dating a highly masking AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) woman

There is something ever so unique about Alison, my loving partner. She is AuDHD (Autistic and has ADHD). Although she hasn’t had an official diagnosis, shes is on a very long list to get these (7 years for ADHD she has been told).

If you were to meet her, its unlikely you would ever know she is AuDHD because shes highly masking through life. Masking is exactly what it sounds like and its super draining. I couldn’t even really understand how draining without Alison breaking it down for me.

Recently she decided to write about this all in a public Facebook post.

I also took the test Autistic spectrum test Alison mentions and got these results. As you can see mine is quite different from her’s.

Ultimately I stand with her, proud to be her partner and I’m so glad she wrote the post not only to friends and family but to the public.

Alison is wonderful, creative, loving and a joy to be with. The mix of neurodiversity, life experiences, modern values and her personality means our relationship is full of mainly ups and some downs (which relationship isn’t?). I certainly didn’t expect the dopamine filled date nights!

Neurodiversity is full of stereotypes and misunderstandings. Some of it is ignorance but some of it is deliberately offensive and I’m looking at mainstream media. The social media space has its own problems but you are getting first hand perspectives which are sometimes interesting. Something I might pick up on again in a future blog post.

Till then, have a read of Alisons post and share with others.

Continue reading “Dating a highly masking AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) woman“

The good things which come when putting your hand up?

The Panel at Republica 2024 recreating the Neuralink press conference

For a long while now (since my brush with death) I have been putting my hand up for many different things without really knowing whats going to happen. The one from TedXManchester is one I talk about a lot (8.9 million views!)

Just recently at Re:publica 2024, I took part in a panel titled Elon Musk Utopia.

Neuralink is one of the least known companies founded and headed by Elon Musk, this is his BCI initiative, a brain-chip that will make us one with the machine, one with one another, allow the blind to have superhuman vision, negate the need for language and make us all transhuman, just in time to contend with the AI gods we are creating simultaneously. If that sounds like (bad) science fiction, as well it should, but it’s also the vision of Neuralink’s founders.

Musk and Neuralink informed the public of their activities, early results and utopian aspirations in August 2020 on a live stream press event. Musk invited on stage the co-founders and leading team, scientists, engineers and venture capitalists, all answered questions about various technical aspects, and then they took one final question: one by one they all envisioned a “Neuralink future” and gave their personal aspiration, what is the use case they most highly expect and anticipate. The answers went from bewildering and bizarre to outright frightening.

The panel (with some audience participation) will read the different answers given at the Neuralink press event and discuss the future represented by these dreams/nightmares. A conversation about man/machine interfaces, artificial intelligence and religion, creativity, psychedelics, video games, telepathic consent, hope and death.

As you can see in the video which was filmed (not the conference filming), there is a request for someone to join the panel. Of course without even thinking, my hand was up and waving around. From memory I was the only one, just like the TedXManchester event.

I hadn’t really thought I’d be reading out a script, which is a bit of a nightmare for me with dyslexia. But regardless, I was committed, ultimately had good fun and enjoyed the Q&A afterwards.

If I had thought it through, I may not have put my hand up but so glad I did… again!

Midsummers nights beach dream mix

I have been listening to my latest set of mixes and there is a selection of tunes which has gotten me rewinding and playing out loud. With this, I decided to create a mix using just those tunes with a few tweaks and some reordering. All done on the Pacemaker device as usual.

Planned and recorded while on holiday on the beach in the UK. Listen on peertube or in full quality on my mixgarden.

Turn it up loud!

The playlist…

Sacrosanct (Extended Mix) – Mark Sherry
Stresstest (John Askew Remix) – John O’callaghan
Killer Instinct – Sneijder & Bryan Kearney
Inferno – Carl Cox
Dolores – Indecent Noise
Energy Crash (Extended Mix) – Maarten de Jong
Stealth bomber (Chris schweizer remix) – Bryan Kearney
Erase – Brooks Alexsander
Whites Of Her Eyes – Simon Patterson
Silver Bath – Plastic Boy
Predator – Predator
Telescope – Will Atkinson

Wonderful chocolates shared

I use to share notable chocolates on twitter and my blog in the past.

However with the Fediverse and one of my favourite platforms is pixelfed (like Instagram without all the crap, algorithmic nonsense, enshittifcation and unhuman design).

So with this, I started posting select Chocolates I recently enjoyed there

You can also comment and do the usual social media things there, but safely from your own fediverse account.

Look forward to the feedback

Public Service Internet monthly newsletter (Aug 2024)

We live in incredible times with such possibilities that is clear. Although its easily dismissed while seeing Palestinians accounts shut down by Microsoft for no clear reason, a look at the global suppression of LGBTQ+ speech and the endless AI scraping.

To quote Buckminster Fuller “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.“

You are seeing aspects of this with a new Swiss law for the public sector, researchers using AI chat bots against scammers and the wrongful arrest of a black man down to facial recognition, knocking on to wider reform.

Crowd strike: the result of move fast break society?

Ian thinks: There is so much about the worldwide outage due to Microsoft and Crowd strike. Zitron zooms out and points fingers at shareholders supremacy , recent tech layoffs and the silicon value of move fast and break things.

What is the difference between Green growth and Degrowth

Ian thinks: In this thoughtful discussion Hickel outlines a number of key concepts of degrowth including, the assumption the rich countries should continue to increase growing for the rest of the century. Plus the metric of growth based on GDP, was never developed for this purpose warned the creator of it.

We let tech take politics out of innovation?

Ian thinks: This talk from Republica is raw and will caused a lot feelings. Deep down under the skin of the talk is the underlying understanding Tante has some very good points including the fact “we let tech take the politics out of innovation.”

Negotiability is needed in car privacy

Ian thinks: This video builds on the huge data privacy problem of modern cars. There is a huge problem of negotiability with the contracts you sign. Access to emergency service is important but that shouldn’t mean data being shared with an unknown amount of data brokers. Its time for a change.

Can alternative business models survive in the future?

Ian thinks: This short documentary about John Lewis and Waitrose is quite telling as their business model feels so obscure now, especially in the face of stakeholder capitalism or as others call it Shareholder Supremacy. You can see the same of public service broadcasting and likewise their are lessons and difficult decisions which need to be made before its too late.

The LLM craze / bubble

Ian thinks: Interesting but sweary rant from a senior data scientist about the AI bubble and C-suite’s fascination with it. Good points made counting the business narrative of you need AI for everything.

Human Data Interaction needs to be a standard

Ian thinks: While watching this video about keeping contacts private, I couldn’t stop but think the whole notion of how apps, services and platforms interact with our personal data must change. Human data interaction is a step towards this but it needs standardisation and adopted very soon, because putting the burden on users through scope storage, permissions or installing GrapheneOS isn’t sustainable.

Welcome to the digital afterlife?

Ian thinks: The notion of a digital afterlife will either fill you with dread or joy. But what ever side you come down on, it’s clear existing power laws like enshitfication, surveillance capitalism, etc will be in full effort. Legal reform in this space to give agency to the user is essential and must come soon.

Influencer, human traffiker, and finally jailed

Ian thinks: The story of Kat Torres is a hard one to watch but a important one to see. There will always be influencers but could human scale social networks change this, I wonder?

Find the archive here

Recently interviewed on Plutopia

Plutopia Commentary on News, Current Events, Culture, Politics, and Weird Anomalies With Ian Forrester: Media R&D

Recently I was interviewed on the Plutopia News Network. Podcasters talking on other podcasts, indeed. But good to discuss with people I have never met before.

Its an interesting interview, with a bunch of twists and turns, big thanks to the 2 hosts and regular Techgrumper and writer at Netwars Wendy Grossman.

Professor Guy Leschinzer interview

During the Covid pandemic, I did a lot to sort out my sleep. I also read a few books about sleep including the popular Why we sleep by Matthew Walker and The Nocturnal Brain by Guy Leschziner. Then said…

I’m sure many will disagree, but I’d recommend The Nocturnal Brain over Why we sleep. Although I will admit it is a harder read, due to some of the experiences explained in some detail.

Its not a criticism of why we sleep but the nocturnal brain had so much more depth and watching this full interview with Leschziner, really confirms the level of depth and experience he has witnessed.

Public Service Internet monthly newsletter (July 2024)

Picture taken from Mozhouse Amsterdam 2024 Woman sat talking to a crowd with a screen saying We are life: AI accountability during war

We live in incredible times with such possibilities that is clear. Although its easily dismissed while seeing the ransomware attack on NHS hospitals, Meta’s EULA change to include feeding AI with your data and the terrible state of online shopping thanks to dropshipping and Temu.

To quote Buckminster Fuller “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.“

You are seeing aspects of this with publishers rethinking their online strategy, security services starting their own mini series and the introduction of the proton foundation.

The bigger impact of the law enforcement ANOM surveillance

Ian thinks: You might remember the ANOM take over? At the time I thought it was pretty clever but in this episode centred around Joseph Cox’s book Dark wire. I missed the bigger impact of surveillance and the chilling effect it had on encrypted messaging services/platforms.

Predicting the police and other artist AI visions

Ian thinks: I enjoyed this look at AI through the eyes of the different people in this episode. Critical in some parts and imaginative in others, its a good listen and gave me a base for many other thoughts.

How AI could threaten democracy, under our noses

Ian thinks: It was interesting to see Lawrence Lessig sound the alarm but also provide clear ideas of things which must change now. The talk is also from Germany which is deliberate as the advice is directly aimed at Europe, knowing it could trickle down into other countries like America.

Tech accountability during the time of war

Ian thinks: I didn’t get a chance to see this panel discussion live but I watched it streamed live while in Amsterdam for the Mozilla House festival. The experiences and descriptions really got me. Nearer the end I was energised while questioning where the accountability sits?

Mitigating GenAI hallucinations?

Ian thinks: Colleague Henry wrote a interesting analysis and guide to help with limiting the hallucinations found in the gen AI space. He’s not the only one looking, as this open access paper delves into this all too.

Is Microsoft tracking school kids a step too far?

Ian thinks: With strong laws like GDPR, it doesn’t take much to see companies like Microsoft potentially caught red handed. The question I do have is if they are potentially doing it for school kids, imagine whats happening to their customers?

Insight into the EU’s digital identity system

Ian thinks: I didn’t get the chance to be at this session at Re:publica but watching it back I am learned a quite bit and even more from the Q&A afterwards. Then looked to see how similar it is to Self Sovereign Identity?

Europe’s Path to Innovation in Public Interest

Ian thinks: Francesca Bria is great to watch again and incredible in person at the PublicSpaces conference. Centred around the idea of a 100 billion European digital sovereignty fund to ignite the innovation we all want to see. Its the kind of grand plan we all need and shes deadly serious.

AI is warping our love lives

Ian thinks: There has always been a industry interest in AI and love. The experts have varies of opinions and this insightful interview gives a good overview of the concerns and benefits of something which most won’t admit to or talk about.

Find the archive here

Inspiring books for a publicservice internet

I have been thinking a lot about the public service internet (or the notion of a internet which is focused on public value not extraction and surveillance)

Theres a number of things in my head but one of them is about collectively sharing what we mean. When I say we, I literately mean exactly that. I was reminded of this a while ago while looking at my diigo group I setup ages ago. Ultimately its a aggregated list of links from a pool of people.

In practice it didn’t really work because although I did accept a few people, almost no one added any links to the group. In actual fact I’m looking for an fediverse version of diigo because I’m really not getting that much out of it. I did get some spammers but not enough to cause any problems, harm or use much of my time. I could glance at their profile and easily work out their intentions.

Anyway I do think the pooling/aggregation is a good idea within a human scale group.

While listening to tech won’t save us and looking more into the Degrowth movement, I found a number of books by the guest Jason Hickel. I did what I normally do is add them to bookwrym as books of interest. Then thought wonder if there is a category or tag option. I found lists and the ability to change the visibility and contribution options.

So I setup a public list and the ability to carefully add contributors.

<span data-mce-type="bookmark" style="display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;" class="mce_SELRES_start"></span>Ideally this could be really good and a useful list for me personally listening to a lot of public service related audiobooks. It could also be useful to collate some of the lesser know books and authors. But even better is the ability to share wider what is meant by a public service internet?

Interested in joining the group? Get on bookwrym or setup your own instance and click the button to join the list? Of course if I don’t accept the request (I’m new to this too) just direct message me.

Back to the link sharing, I realised this is what Lemmy is…kinda is. I may take a different route on link sharing and potentially self-host it myself. Once I do I’ll likely just move away from Diigo completely, shutting down the existing groups. Don’t worry I have already gone a export of the links and data.

Looking forward to reading and sharing more.

Little update on Bookwrym

I now have a group which can add to the book list, I’m carefully adding people who are collaborators. If you feel this is also you, contact me.

In the EU or UK? Opt out of Meta using data to train AI

Facebook form for opting out of data being used to train Meta AI

I heard Meta were planning to change their EULA/Terms of use and planned to opt out in anyway possible. But I was nicely surprised to see not only the EU but UK can opt out using the short form above. Although I think it is cheeky to require a reason…

I assumed the EU would be covered but the UK would be left out. Thank goodness for GDPR

You can learn a lot more by reading this how to guide or watching this video.

Update just 55mins later

I got this email from Facebook/Meda

Hi Ian,

We’ve reviewed your request and will honor your objection. This means your request will be applied going forward.

If you want to learn more about generative AI, and our privacy work in this new space, please review the information we have in Privacy Center.

facebook.com/privacy/genai

This inbox cannot accept incoming messages. If you send us a reply, it won’t be received.
Thanks,
Privacy Operations

Isolation but not Inactive in Amsterdam mix

Amsterdam Nemo museum colourised with clouds — Nemo Amsterdam

Following on from my time in Berlin, came a number of conferences in Amsterdam. Between a number of excellent conferences, time in a theme park and lots of time on the Amsterdam metro system I caught Covid for the second time. Although not so bad as the first time, I isolated in a hotel room to avoid infecting others. I was very aware there was no need to self-isolate, I couldn’t bring myself to infect a number of people. Hence this mix a late entry into the locked down mixing out era of my mixes.

In between working, sleeping and watching a lot of media, I was able to craft and record this mix then redo it on the aggressive hour plane back to Manchester.

Recorded live and it leans on the Berlin Donnerwetter mix with another swift 136ish BPM plus a real interesting bag of old and new tunes. Originally longer but the hour flight set a better time of under a hour.

Enjoy here or on Peertube or in full quality on my mixgarden

Dark Side Of The Moon (RYDEX Extended remix) – Susana
Opium (Stan Kolev Remix) – Jerome Isma ae Alastor
Back to Earth (rave mix) – Yves Deruyter
Energy Crash (Extended Mix) – Maarten De Jong
Stealth bomber (Chris Schweizer remix) – Bryan Kearney
Erase – Brooks Alexsander
Silence (Jerome Isma-Ae Extended Remix) – D-Nox, Baya, LENN V
The Wave 2.0 (Extended Mix) – Cosmic Gate
Labyrinth (Paul Keyen Remix) – Lee Cassells
The Legacy 2.0 (Alphazone remix) – Funabashi pres. Saltwater
Headliner – Jorn Van Deynhoven
Home (Cosmic gate remix) – Paul van Dyk feat. Johnny McDaid

My first mushroom based cocktail

Mushroom cocktail with mushroom juice in a bottle in the background

A while ago I made my first mushroom cocktail and it was delightful, I always meant to post it but its sat in my drafts for a long while.

I took the recipe from here, and made some changes to cater for my vegan partner.

Ingredients

25ml Dried mushroom
50ml Vodka
25ml Lemon juice
10ml Agave
Ice cubes

Method

Boil the Dried mushroom in water for about 45mins. Then pour into a container and put in the fridge to chill.

Later at the party, add 2 shots of vodka (50ml), 1 shot of the mushroom broth/juice (25ml – adjust for strength), 1 shot of lemon juice (25ml), 10ml Algave syrup to a cocktail shaker and add ice cubes. Then shake away.

Once you are done, filter the drink into a martini glass and enjoy!

Endemic Covid-19

Mozilla keep cup, positive covid tests, mug, paracetomol and other mdedication on a wood table

Just recently I caught Covid19 for the second time. It was once again while in Europe working (never caught it in the UK funny enough). This time I didn’t get the awful Covid toe, which was a big relief!

It is super strange, I caught it between attending the PublicSpaces conference and getting setup to run the ethical dilemma cafe at Mozhouse Amsterdam. Now to be fair I did spend a lot of time on Amsterdam’s public transport,went to a Dutch castle with lots of tourists and had a great time at Walibi.

Regardless, I did feel a bit tired from the lack of decent sleep over the last few weeks (Not spent much time at home recently) but I also felt cold but didn’t really think about it. The Mozilla team decided to take Covid tests and I did so not really thinking I would be positive.

Then it happened, 2 very red lines – a total surprise!

That was the moment I decided not attend Mozilla house Amsterdam because its a place where you talk to a lot of people and felt deeply responsible for passing on Covid on to others. I also decided to stay in my hotel room and only venture out for breakfast and to a supermarket which was about 15mins walk away. Both with a mask, which I happen to have in my laptop bag since 2021.

Looking from Amsterdam station to North Amsterdam — As close as I could get to Mozilla House Amsterdam

After a few days and a second covid test, I changed my plans and took a earlier flight back to the UK.

I did find it strange how people reacted to me wearing a mask, although I was trying to be a responsible person (No judgement on anyone else). I had assumed people would think I was protecting them as I might have Covid? There was one instance in the hotel lift when I informed a man they might want to wait as I have Covid. He decided to not worry about it but commented it was really good I was wearing a mask and most people don’t bother?

I know all the Covid policies have pretty much gone and we have moved from pandemic to endemic. Like myself, there was no way of knowing I had Covid till I tested. I wouldn’t have tested if I didn’t have access to tests and had a reason to test.

Its all quite a interesting catch 22…

How am I? I’m tired, slower but active. Cough has gone and I found my out of date Covid tests are still picking up on my positive Covid, although a year old. But I do have the new ones to confirm when I do believe I’m negative again.

Not that it matters I guess?

The Berlin donnerwetter mix

Google thunderstorm weather alert with map of Berlin and airport in background

Recently I took a last minute flight to Berlin for Republica 2024. Although I mainly escaped the thunderstorm by going via Copenhagen it was touch and go on the Copenhagen to Berlin leg of the journey.

Of course I had lots of time to record this mix on the pacemaker device, which attracted the eye and question of a fellow passenger who asked what it was and how it worked. Gladly explained, not sure if he took it all on board but good to have interesting in this very aged device.

This mix is recorded live and moves a long at 136ish BPM with some classic trance tunes. Turn this one up nice and loud! Hopefully in the sunshine not in the thunderstorm!

Enjoy here or on Peertube or in full quality on my mixgarden

The list of tunes used

Long Way Home – Gareth Emery
Aberration Of Light (Original Mix) – Michael Kaelios
Energy Crash (Extended Mix) – Maarten de Jong
Erase – Brooks Alexsander
Verdi – Mauro Picotto
Opium (Quivver Remix) – Jerome Isma-Ae & Alastor
Beat (Da Boxx) – Laurent Garnier
Soundbar (extended mix) – Giuseppe Ottaviani
Running up the hill (jerome isma-ae bootleg) – Placebo
Whites Of Her Eyes (Original Mix) – Simon Patterson
Amino Acids (Original Mix) – Tau-Rine
Brush Strokes (Original Mix) – Simon Patterson
Certitude (original mix) – Thomas Bronzwaer
Floyd (extended mix) – Jerome Isma-Ae & Alastor
Adam K & Soha Mix – Kaskade
Inception – Teminite

Public Service Internet monthly newsletter (June 2024)

4 people standing (3 female and 1 male) look into their phones

We live in incredible times with such possibilities that is clear. Although its easily dismissed while seeing the latest shiny AI device as simply a Android launcher, FUD pointing at Signal & Proton and AI bots dating other each other?

To quote Buckminster Fuller “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.“

You are seeing aspects of this with Meta sued under section 230, Microsoft providing passkey support for all its users and finally some agreement around Bluetooth tracking.

Is the C-suite at fault for the current tech problems?

Ian thinks: This new series by Zittron looking at how the tech industry is being run by people who have far less interest in the technology. Some call it the maturing of the sector but its clear from the Zittron this isn’t necessarily a good thing

We need a public service internet. no really!

Ian thinks This is not going to come as a surprise to many readers but iit really unites a number of the different initiatives. Futher adding fuel to the slowly burning fire.

GoFundMe is worst that you can imagine

Ian thinks: Most people have seen a range of crowdfunding profiles/sites/apps for tragic healthcare cases, Even I pointed at the lack of public healthcare systems but the podcast goes so much deeper, pointing out who gets funding, how and ultimately how Crowdfunding sites profit from the misery.

Not heard about Deadbots?