It’s the questions which are undressing?

undressed_image001

People keep saying, how the hell did I not figure Undressed wouldn’t involve getting undressed on TV. Even Jess asked similar questions in the audio we recorded.

I even started wondering if I missed something myself…?

So I looked back through emails and found the one which started it all. An email from good friend Jane saying…

Not sure if this is something you’d be interested in but you are the dating King!!

Then the rest of the email was a forward from Adam at RDF TV

 I hope you don’t mind me getting in touch. I’m currently Producing a brand new dating show called Undressed for RDF Television.  Based on the psychological researcher of Arthur Aron ‘s 36 questions to fall in love. We want to prove it is possible to fall in love in 30 minutes.

We have had some really successful nationwide auditions thus far. We are still looking for more stunning singles to take part and I would love your help with this. Would be kind enough to circulate the attached flyer to your work colleagues, friends, family and clients? We are looking for a diverse mix of amazing singletons for our unique, and ground breaking new show.

Please do get back in touch with any questions you may have.


RDF Television is casting for an exciting new dating show called ‘Undressed’.

From the makers of ‘Secret Millionaire’, ‘Wife Swap’, ‘Shipwrecked’ and award -winning ‘The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds’ comes the dating show with a difference that dares to ask if it’s possible to fall in love with a complete stranger in just 30 minutes.

Inspired by psychological studies, we’re aiming to carefully match like-minded single people with the help of the UK’s first dating coach. They will embark on a series of questions in order to get to know one another in our exciting and unique scenario.

If you’re tired of Tinder and want to find love, apply NOW. We’re holding nationwide auditions over the next couple of weeks in Bristol, Birmingham, Manchester, Newcastle & London.

So what are you waiting for? 

Apply now and email:

  • Name
  • Telephone Number
  • Audition City

To *********rdftelevision.com or call us on 020 70** **** for an application form.

Applicants must be 18 or over & residents of the UK

I originally replied to Jane with a thanks but no thanks, however the 36 questions did intrigue me. Especially the idea of trying it out to see if accelerated intimacy is actually a thing or not.

Yeah I’m avoiding most of the TV dating stuff, even if I’m going on First Dates (as a background dater) and Horizon’s dating experiment.

Although I am very tempted…Its based on this…
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html

Then after a bit of thought and a blog… I replied again with

Decided again, its not going to kill me to go for it. And it will be quite an experience if things work out

(…and what a experience it was!)

So you see, it wasn’t till the researcher/producer called me up at work on the afternoon of 29th March, and asked me the question about how comfortable I was with my body? At that moment I suddenly became very wise to what undressed really means.

are you a good kisser - undressed

Undressed and 36 questions later…

Remember those 36 questions? The ones I referred to in the stop following stupid dating steps, get some advice blog post a while ago. Mandy Len Catron’s essay, has spun out a lot of takes but recently a friend pointed me towards a experiment involving the exact same 36 questions.

Here’s the complete list.

  1. If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  16. What do you value most in a friendship?
  17. What is your most treasured memory?
  18. What is your most terrible memory?
  19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  20. What does friendship mean to you?
  21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … ”
  26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … ”
  27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Then…  you have to look into your partner’s eyes for four minutes. In silence, just like the eye contact experiment.

So I’m thinking especially since being involved in the eye contact experiment and a few other things. Maybe it could be fancinating to do, but all the stuff I’ve seen is more for giggles and jokes, hence my reludance about the whole thing. What it sounds like you need, is something on the line?

Enter… Undressed a new show idea by RDF media.

TLC, the pay TV entertainment channel has commissioned UNDRESSED, an innovative and experimental dating show that sees two perfect strangers undress each other and climb into bed on a first date in an exciting new series that accelerates intimacy and explores the accepted rules of attraction.

Guess who decided to sign up?!?

Following Lumbs law“If there’s an opportunity to experience something which will make a great story and it won’t put you or somebody else in danger… you should do it

Yeah I know!

To be fair when I applied, I thought about it long and hard, especially with my previous experiences. But didn’t really take into consideration the fact of being half naked on TV. I hadn’t looked it up till now. The Italian version is on youtube

Its very intimate, but my worries about it being trashy is slightly relaxed at least. Althought the press have had a field day with it all.

The couple have 30 minutes alone together wearing nothing but their underwear, during which they will be given “probing” questions via a screen and tasks “designed to rapidly foster relationships”. Blimey – it makes First Dates look like the Antiques Roadshow

The Guardian

The unique dating show has already been a hit in Italy, where the contestants were often seen to be embarrassed when told to strip before throwing off their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Daily Mail

In my TedX Manchester orginal slide deck, I had a bit about accelerate intimacy. Well this is certainly accelarated! 30mins at Mach 1…

Horizon dating, I’m doing it for the science

The good news is I have been accepted by BBC horizon!

Next week I’ll be in London taking part in the Horizon data/dating thing. I am expecting a better version of the MOSI event at least. The email I got was vague, but the questions in the sign up process were very interesting having done a load of OK cupid ones previous

horizon beer question

Heres the Beer question which always makes me laugh because of this OKTrends post.

Will my date have sex on the first date?

Ask…

  • Do you like the taste of beer?

Because…

Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date.

No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they’ve just met.

Here’s a few more.

are geeks sexy

Of course I like this question a lot.

nuclear war

This one of course is fun to think about in a abstract light. This what I thought first time I answered it on OKcupid.

13 questions you should ask on the first date?

Claire asks what I feel about 13 questions you should ask on the first date.

Now before I start, I’d point out I understand these are conversation starters and therefore will be thinking about them in the context of number 9 – social objects.

A shared experience is a powerful key to being interesting to other people. For example, on the train as I am now, I could turn around the lady across the table and say “nice drawing, how did you learn to draw like that?” The social object would be the drawing… Hugh has better examples

  1.  How often would you say you bring notecards to your dates?
    I can’t take this one seriously… is the notecards a social object? Nope…
  2. Are you a Beatles fan or an Elvis fan?
    This question does give you a lot of information, its also a good way to get the person talking. Even if they look at you blankly, its still interesting. If I was to answer, I would mention the fact I spent most of my time with my head in the underground and some stuff about the Beatles, which my friends have heard a few times before.
  3. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
    This one reminds me of Oli‘s who would win in a fight at the beach between a Giant Squid and a Bear. Although I think they are silly, I guess that is the charm. I would advise against lots of this type of stuff because it can come across as slightly weird and kind of trivial. Maybe more of a nice ice breaker?
  4. How do you feel about chick flicks?
    Talking about movies isn’t a bad idea, but chick flick might cause slight abuse. What is the last film which made you laugh or cry is a favourite for me.
  5. What’s the best book you read last year?
    Yes this is a good question and I have been known to ask the question while speed dating.
  6. What did you think about ‘Too Many Cooks’?
    Ok this is might get back the response of a ? But if they have seen it, well I guess you can have a laugh or indepth discussion about sitcoms.
  7. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    Geez! Really?
  8. Do you love or hate Love Actually?
    This falls into the same area as the chick flicks and too many cooks. Maybe best left alone.
  9. Is Pluto a planet?
    Nice but odd to put in a conversation, and the reply may not be that satisfactory unless you are both really geeky about space.
  10. What’s your idea of the perfect date?
    Ok good question at long last, although it can sound a little creepy
  11. Do you have any allergies?
    Yes a little creepy but actually quite a talking point (see my last post)
  12. Star Wars or Star Trek?
    Elvis or Beatles all over again. After my display of (lack of) knowledge about both at BarCampManchester5, I can really talk.
  13. What’d you do today?
    This is a good question (although I would say it in a different way), open ended and plenty of places to go afterwards. This is the kind of question you should be going for…

Questions Women In New Relationships Have

Single Black Male, why do you make me laugh so much but also shake my head so much?

For example here’s a post which had me doing both… 40 questions women in new relationships have answered. Here are the best/worst questions and answers with my own thoughts underneath. Check out the site for more…

3. How do I know if he’s just using me for sex?
He’s not. You can easily find someone to have meaningless sex without a title. (Note: If you are the type to call someone your boyfriend without actually having a conversation about it, then he may be using you for just sex and you rationalize it by calling him your boyfriend. Don’t worry it’ll make sense later.)

I see the logic, and to be honest its not far wrong

4. At what point is it appropriate to have the “where is this going” talk?
Whenever you want it to end.

5. Should I initiate that discussion or should he?
See above.

This one had me in stitches… But beyond the instant humor, that where is this going talk, certainly puts most people on the edge. You should know where its going and shouldn’t have to directly ask like that really.

8. What did he find when he Googled my name?
The same thing you’d find if you Googled your name. (PS – Stop Google’ing mofos! In a world that is losing all sight of tradition, can we at least keep face-to-face interaction as the best source of getting to know a person?!)

Keep googling but for goodness sake talk to your partner before jumping to conclusions. They deserve the right to explain themselves, even if you don’t like it.

12. Why did his last relationship really end?
The two of them were not meant to be. If you give it time, he’ll either tell you or you’ll stop worrying about it.

FFS! Stop worrying…

15. How long do we have to date before I meet his friends?
Not long but most men aren’t trying to hide you from their friends as much as they’re trying to protect you from their friends.

16. If he hasn’t invited me to meet them yet, is it because I embarrass him?
See above.

17. Why hasn’t he texted me yet? I hope he’s not with someone else.
Stop being paranoid.

Hearing this one…:) Sometimes there is a whole story which needs to be told before you can meet someone and explain the relationship. The embarrassment thing is unlikely unless you have weird quirks? And instead of “stop being paranoid” you should read about inner tantrum.

20. What if he thinks some of my friends are hotter than me?
He does, get over it.

Damm lay it out straight… 🙂

23. How he would he propose to me?
You’re getting way too far ahead of yourself.

24. Better yet, how much he would spend on a ring?
See above.

Seriously to both questions?

31. I wonder what his ex-girlfriend looks like?
Stop lying, you’ve got Facebook like the rest of us.

Indeed! Just like you googled his/her name, damn straight you did! See number 8.

37. Do I embarrass him?
Do you talk when you’re out with him? Yes? Then, yes.

Oh man… 🙁

39. What would he do if I slipped a finger in his ass while we’re doing it?
Either punch you in the face, blow his load, or reveal to you that he’s bisexual.

Oh man! Rolling on the floor laughing at this one, seriously…! LOL

Human insights in the data of Qriously

could the chromebook be googles ipad

Data is a really interesting but you already knew that… I hope…

Qriously insights reminds me of the excellent insights we use to get from OkTrends (okcupid’s blog) before Match.com bought it (wheres the cool insights now then?). In aggregation there are some really amazing things which can be pulled out. Qriously puts the power to ask the questions and define the sample and scope in a very simple way.

I’m hoping to be able to use it at Ignite Leeds to finally decide who should pay on the first date?

More details are due soon… but the Leeds digital festival looks great, well done to Imran and others. Thanks to Monica Tailor too…