Generally the Wittertainment Code of Conduct is….

1. No Eating
2. No slurping
3. No rustling
4. No irresponsible parents
5. No hobbies
6. No talking
7. No mobile phone usage
8. No kicking of seats
9. No arriving late
10. No shoe removal

I’m in agreement with some of these, Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode have certainly put the cat out between the pigeons.

1. No Eating…. Well thats just simply stupid, popcorn and cinemas fit together like the internet and porn. Salt popcorn is nosier than sugar popcorn but cinemas still sell it by the bucket load. I do think its a pain when someone starts tucking into a bag of crisps but I’m not going to ban them from the cinema. However there are certain foods which should be banned, such as nuts with shells!
2. No Slurping… Come on if your sucking down on a drink and you can’t help but slurp, you must be under 10.
3. No Rustling… Ok agreed, no one wants to hear you undoing your bag in the middle of a film. The worst has to be someone cock undoing his velcro bag in the middle of inception.
4. No Irresponsible parents… Oh my goodness yes! No one wants to hear your kid screaming as the saw cuts through the actors hand in the latest saw movie.
5. No Hobbies… As a cinema usher this drives me nuts, I won’t even tell you what kind of stuff I’ve found after a showing. However I’m also guilty of updating my blog, make changes to a essay, etc while supervising a film as a usher. Of course I wouldn’t do it as viewer.
6. No Talking… This does wind me up, even now. I hate people who talk in the cinema, I don’t mind talking during the adverts, even during the trailers somewhat. But once the title comes up for the film, shut the heck up! No one wants to hear it. However I remember watching the Matrix Reloaded at Odeon Streatham, and someone shouted out something when Neo is about to take down Agent Smith after visiting the Oracle. It fit the mood perfectly, but then again I know other people who have done something similar and failed
7. No Mobile phone use… Yes please! I hate it when the person next to you is texting on there phone ruing the effect of darkness. I had this yesterday when I went to watch Harry Potter and the deadly hallows part one. The worst I ever had was when someone left there keypad sound on. On that one, I turned around and said "for f*** sake will you stop!"
8. No Kicking of seats… Never had this problem to be fair but I’ve told many people off for doing something like this to others.
9. No Arriving late… I almost don’t understand why cinemas are not like theatre’s which blocks people after a certain time. The nice thing about the IMAX showings in Manchester is that they do just that. Its simply not practical sometimes to have people trying to find there seats in the dark while the film is going. If seats are not allocated, then i’m sorry you lost your right to those seats as far as I’m concerned. Come in late, tuck in somewhere at the front or the far edges. Stay out of the way of the screen.
10. No Show removal… I’ve also had to tell a few people as a cinema usher to put there shoes back on. I’m not against slipping your shoes off so its still on your feet but I’ve stopped people who have taken off there shoes and even there socks! I mean for goodness sake, are you serious! Nasty public health type stuff!

There is loads more I could personally add but this list isn’t bad at all. Now which cinema chain’s going to adopt these rules? Don’t all rush at once…