Stop playing silly twat with your newspaper, before I shove it where the sun does not shine…

My wonderful wife wrote a nice long piece about the twats on public transports. The other day I was on the way to Bromley South station and got on at Elephant and Castle, nice fast train going only to Herne Hill on the way. However the last train has no seats left except a couple dotted around. So I picked one of the six seaters (really its 3 seats facing the other 3) which was sandwiched between two people. Big mistake, I was then subjected to number 2 on Sarah's list. Well this woman had her bag there, so I stood at the middle point between all the seats and took my laptop out placed it next to her bag. That would be a clear sign that I'm going to sit there surely? Well no, by the time I had placed my bag on the rack and went back to open my laptop and sit down. Her bag was still there! And she did give me the whole dumbass look of 'oh I didn't realize you wanted to sit down'. In the end I stood there and managed to say the words excuse me without shouting or sounding too aggresive.

I have to add a point 4 to Sarahs list.
4. Public space hogging-twat. This person reads a broadsheet newspaper and chooses not to fold the paper. So even when your sitting there with a small book or pocketpc the newspaper pages obscure your view of the book or screen. This is seriously wrong! The other day, I was going home via Clockhouse and this man decided that blocking my laptop screen was an amusing game worth playing with me. Rather than play his stupid game, I switch the laptop into tablet mode which took him by suprise and wiped that stupid twatty smile off his sad little face. Yes man, get a life, and dont mess with me. Ha!

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Author: Ianforrester

Senior firestarter at BBC R&D, emergent technology expert and serial social geek event organiser. Can be found at cubicgarden@mas.to, cubicgarden@twit.social and cubicgarden@blacktwitter.io